A fare to remember… (and an ex to forget!)

Do I have to introduce those just in case?

Just in case. Hello everyone, and welcome to

Two Twongs the Lie. I'm Taylor Perry.

You say this is so funny. I don't know why, it's just so

funny to do. It more and more animated just

for you. Thank you.

And I'm in moon. Hello.

With all the enthusiasm in the world, of course.

Of course we need to be. It's all about balance.

All about balance. What a beautiful Saturday here

in Nashville. Everyone or I love it.

It is decent outside, but the humidity is all.

You in this humidity? Wow, humidity.

Her and I are not. Such a desert boy.

Damn right. Anyway, so we had two topics we

were going to talk. About Today Wonderful show for

you today. It is a beautiful show, very

powerful, very powerful show. We want to give to everybody.

That's a hope. We're hoping that we are hoping

that you can learn through our hardships.

Basically, we we hope that we absorbed all the pain for you so

that you can make the right decisions in your life,

literally. Literally all the pain.

We that that that is that's the goal today, actually.

And I think I think that's a beautiful thing.

It's gorgeous. It is beautiful.

It's gorgeous, Dalek. Gorgeous, gorgeous.

So we agreed that I would go first, you go first.

Yeah, I I won the coin toss. There was a coin toss.

No, I'm joking. Don't.

Don't do it. Oh, you're serious?

Ask. Yeah.

I was about to, so I make a lot of my life decisions from Siri

flipping a coin. I make a yeah.

I think we all kind of like we all have their tails.

We all try to depend on AI a lot.

My my my AI got me through my whole online biology class.

Yeah, I know. I asked her to just heads or

tails. College is so much easier

nowadays. It really is, and it was.

Truly just school in general. Is 15 years ago when I was

trying to do it school. In general is easier just

because of AI. Well, OK, not just the AI, but

also just how much how everything is so electronic and

digital now. Like I don't even have to take

notes. And that was half the problem

when I was in college back in, you know, 2008 to 2010 was I had

to take everything handwritten. There was PowerPoint slides, but

it wasn't as it wasn't like now where that is your notes.

So I and I have horrible handwriting.

So what would I do? Well?

You're a man. I go back, I go back.

I have My handwriting has been described as loopy chicken

scratch, which is about as bad as it.

I think most people's handwriting, if it's bad, it's.

Just not as bad as chicken scratch.

Mine's really bad. We'll do a handwriting

comparison after we're done. We'll.

Report back. I did notice your list on your

desk and it is not great handwriting.

It's really bad. No, I know.

I literally just college is way better.

It's way better than USB. I couldn't hear.

I couldn't not better. So anyways, what I was doing was

or what I was saying was I would take all these handwritten notes

and I couldn't read them. So I never, it was really hard

for me to study. It's so much easier to study now

that nothing is really handwritten anymore.

I mean you don't even really have to grab a pen and paper for

like anything anymore. Not anymore, but I mean there

are those people who need to like write it down like 6 times

in order for it to be in. And I still do for work.

I, which is what you were talking about.

Like the little list that was all like, work stuff.

Yeah, in my hand. And I'm glad you noticed.

My handwriting's really bad. You're learning so much about

me. I am sensitive to noises and

smells and. Picky about your food?

Very, very. I'm not.

I am not a picky eater. I am picky on the quality of

food. I don't eat sad food.

I said food places. But as far as like items, I'm

not picky. I just want good quality food.

I'm from Chicago, all right, Chicago, we have we have world

class restaurants. It is the some of the best food

you're ever going to get is in Chicago.

So when I go other places, which I'm not complaining about

Nashville, Nashville actually has really good food.

It's still disappointing really a little bit not from Vegas.

We have literally everything. I got horrible food poisoning in

Vegas. Oh, that's on you.

Sorry. Top of the Rio?

We'd not recommend it. No Rio.

You went to the Rio. I don't know.

My friend took me there. You wanted to go to the

steakhouse at the top of the Rio No.

If any steakhouse you're going to go to, it needs to be the one

in MGM. It killed us.

Yeah, MGM needs to be the one you go to.

And we went to an all you can eat sushi buffet.

That might have been it as well. That was a big mistake.

Probably got worms from the parasite.

Hold on, it gets worse. Oh God, I ordered the special

All you can eat. What was it?

What was it? Like fatty Tuna or I don't

remember something like that, but it nearly killed us did.

It give you parasites. I don't know, but it took like a

week to feel better. They got it was like the last

day, but the that's the word. That actually could be like the

worst day to get food poisoning on your vacation because then

you have to travel back with food poisoning.

I had to go back from Vegas to Colorado, and then not only from

not only to the airport, but I had to take the train from the

airport to Denver, which if you've ever been there, it's not

a short ride. That airport is in the middle of

nowhere. Set up like a bomb shelter.

Vegas, the airports is in. Metal right there that in the

middle. I mean it's right there.

So convenient. I I I actually hate paying for

Ubers and Lyfts Like I will always I will always look for an

alternative because like in Chicago, like you have train,

amazing train, bus, public transit, there's that costs like

a few dollars. So like I see it as a complete

waste back in the city to order a Lyft when it's so easy to get

there on like the blue line. Or something.

You would think Nashville would be a little bit more updated

with the public transit, but the public transit here air rib

ball. I didn't even think there was

any. Exactly my point, it's awful

here. There's maybe like 3 buses and

they're only on like one Rd. Yeah, no, I've noticed.

And Vegas. I have to give Vegas.

I have to give Vegas a good props because they do have a

great bus system. I don't know about trains, but

the buses. Don't really do.

We don't do. Trains, the buses are very and I

feel safe taking the buses in. I don't I feel safe taking the

bus in Vegas too, because it's just big.

It's normal to take the bus for everybody in Vegas.

So and it's kind of like Chicago because like everybody takes

public transportation. It's normal.

Whereas like let's see, there's two cities I can think of and

then we can. San Antonio is bone of them,

where you feel very, very. Unsafe Denver was another one.

Yeah, no, Denver was another one.

Dallas might have been the worst experience I ever had.

With public transit. Yeah, I don't even know how I

like. I just was simply taking the

train to the, to the airport. Awful.

It was one of the worst adventures I've ever gone on in

my life. I almost got my ass kicked like

3 different times. I'm like, I don't even know why.

I'm like, OK, maybe I should have just splurged the $25 for a

lift on this trip. I mean, and then hold on.

So like, I like it was, it was a mess.

There was like there was like cops everywhere.

But it was just like, it was one of those things I'm like, I

can't believe I got myself into this.

And then the flooding was so bad on the tracks we had to get off

and order a lift. Was it monsoon season or

something? Yeah, it was.

It was really bad. It was like end of August in

Dallas and we had a Softball league tournament down there.

Yeah. And it was awful.

Yeah. It was really, really, really,

really bad. Storms all the times.

So I had to get off and order a lift.

And then the guy I was talking to that was really nice was like

stranded and broke. And I was like, get in here,

I'll drop you off where you need to go.

And it was just such a mess of a trip.

I'll never take public transportation in Dallas.

Well, really anywhere. I've just kind of grown that

like if I'm outside of Chicago or Vegas where the buses are

great, I'm not going to take public transportation.

I don't. I don't want to rely on it in

cities. I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it.

I hated public transit. I was like resentful of it until

I had no vehicle and I was forced to take it.

I was forced to start doing it in San Antonio.

I was. Gonna say which city though.

San Antonio was when I started taking buses and all that public

transit, which I will say San Antonio, as awful as a public

transit is, their system is actually really great because it

actually goes throughout the entire city, OK.

Maybe not Dallas, but I was always under the impression that

the infrastructure in Texas is just great in general.

No, terrible cuz like those roads in San Antonio, I don't

know if they're using them, but like those skyways, kind of

impressive. OK, so Dallas is kind of cool.

So Dallas has a lot more sky roads than any other.

Well, maybe Houston. Dallas or San Antonio?

Dallas, Dallas and Houston, their sky roads are so much

better and they're all freeway. San Antonio we do have them.

We do, but just the infrastructure alone altogether

is terrible. It's literally set up like 2

giant circles with a line through it like a giant no

symbol. Well, and I do notice that in

Texas, the roads and the skyways, they're very confusing

looking. Yes, they are.

Oh my God, it's just like a big tornado of skyways.

They call those clovers. They call those clovers.

OK, we have clovers back in Illinois.

This is like clovers on crack. Yeah.

I mean, clovers on crack and steroids.

I'd never seen. I I was just driving in down

driving downtown Chicago is fine, but driving in any rural

let's see it was Dallas where I noticed the big giant

infrastructure you're talking about.

I was kind of looking over like, I don't know how you're

following all this, even with the GPS.

Yeah, it's. Difficult, but San Antonio is

the only one city in Texas that I noticed has like the like U

turns on the freeways like they have you like Yeah.

A warehouse. Have I noticed that we

definitely don't have them back in Illinois.

I don't. I only noticed that in San

Antonio. Illinois is not great for U

turns. My I had an aunt that lived in

Kansas City. They have actual U-turn lanes

which is very convenient. OK.

But they're kind of dangerous too if you're not familiar with

them, because in Austin, I saw they.

Don't have very many in Austin though.

They are. We had one.

They're there, but not very. My ex and I went to the What was

the Sun thing that happened a couple years ago.

The eclipse. That thing.

Yes, total eclipse of the Hub. Copyright.

Oh my God, we're going to get sued.

Keep going, at least we'll be in the news.

What's her name? Oh, she sues the two twangs.

Vodka. Anyways, what was I talking

about? I don't even remember.

Skyways, freeways, infrastructure, Awesome Eclipse.

Oh yeah, EU turn things. So like when you're not familiar

with them, you do EU turn and you're turning left to get into

the like. Get into the most left lane and

then U-turn OK. When you're not familiar with

them though it you don't realize that it darts you into the lane

like. There's no little separate lane

for you to yield into the lane like.

Depending. Some do, some don't.

My ex and I almost got in a wreck.

Thank God we had a Tesla that was it caught it and it stopped.

It caught the other car coming and it stopped really quick and

then the car just went in front of us.

But if that if we wouldn't have had cuz we had no other way to

get a different car down there because it was the eclipse and

everything was rented and the guy was like we have tons of

Teslas and we're like it'll take 1.

He knew my ex knew how to drive it so it was fine.

But those U-turn lanes if you're not familiar with them they

could be dangerous because it darts you out into the lane like

you are. You're there.

By Speaking of Teslas, you let me drive yours today, this

morning, and what do you think? Not a fan.

Why not a fan? Why?

Cuz I'm used to like whenever I take like whenever you are

accelerating, right, you kind of like take your, your foot off

the gas and you kind of like it's toast.

It's. It's not like instantly.

Stopped. Instantly stopped.

You will get used to that. You will get used to that, I

promise. That's my biggest pet peeve.

And you can ease that, I think. I don't know, but I think

they're my. Biggest pet peeve.

But you know why it does that though, right?

Because, like, it's electric. Well, hold on.

As you're rolling up to the stop light and you're not pressing

the gas, but it's rolling, it's trying to recharge the battery a

little bit and I think that's to offset the acceleration.

So it actually there is. Yeah, there is.

So that's my a reason. That's the one time I have

driven a Tesla so far and that's I'm not a fan so far but.

I was, I was actually scared to drive it in Austin.

My ex drove when we when we got the one for the eclipse, my ex

drove the entire time because I was a little scared to drive it.

He wasn't. He knew exactly what he.

Was doing but he's a fan of a Tesla so far.

But I mean maybe if I there's more practice.

OK, but there is. Stuff that you'll get used to.

I will say that I'm sure, but like brand new, brand new to

Tesla's. It was my first time driving 1.

Not the biggest fan so far but you know my there's.

Stuff you have to get used to. There's just stuff you have to

get used to. My opinion can't change in the

future. And then there and you don't

have to have a Tesla, there are a lot there's not electric.

Cars BMWs don't do the same thing.

My ex that I was just talking about has the Chevy Equinox.

Oh, my conversion. So not the electric person.

He loves it, he loves it. He absolutely loved it.

I got a Tesla because of the autopilot and the full self

driving. It's still how.

Do you even how do you even like let that?

How do you even start that thing?

Because like I was just like fully like.

You. You really don't.

It just starts. You just get in the car and it

starts. Well, you do like the double

aligned thing, the double like down thing.

And then, oh, you're talking about the autopilot.

Yeah, that thing. That's what I'm talking about.

You push the little gear shift. Yeah, you push it down twice,

just tap it twice. That's it.

Like on the highway or on like a business way.

That's it. But it won't.

The autopilot won't stop at a stop sign or a stoplight.

It'll alert you to stop, but you have to pay the $99 upgrade for

it to get it to stop at stoplights.

Stoplights. Is that per month?

Just in general? It's a month.

No, thank you. I I've considered it, but at the

same time, like I work from home and the autopilot's actually

nice. It's already nice enough.

You don't, I mean. The extra package if you're

working from home and don't barely use your car.

Yeah. And that's kind of where I'm at.

And then I've thought about like, OK, maybe if I like drive

back to Chicago, it's like a 910 hour drive with an.

Electric car because you have to.

I thought you said 16 or something.

No? Well, OK, maybe in the winter,

so. Not a big fan of 10.

Not a big fan of. Tesla so far, where was I at?

Though, but I was making a point about the autopilot and I

thought Tesla's for you to drive back to Chicago was like 16

hours instead of 10. OK no.

OK. So it's actually like 7 or 8

with a gas car? Yeah, but in the winter time

with an electric car, it takes a lot longer than and you would.

Think because you'd have to stop it to charge.

It and then you have to charge so much more because the cold is

taking away from your charge. I thought the cold would have

been like beneficial to the battery.

Not the least bit, No, because it has to precondition and warm

itself up to charge before it gets to the charging station.

Makes like when it's already warm out.

It really kind of. Doesn't even have to warm.

Up so it doesn't have to suck all that charge out of the

battery to warm itself up in the winter.

It's trying to keep itself warm all the time.

Got it. So it takes a lot more.

So it takes like, yeah, 10:11 hours in the winter with

electricity. Do you want me to put my?

Do you want me to put? My that's fine.

I'll just remember to like move the mouse every once in a while.

Keep going or do you want me to start move on from Tesla's?

It's fine for now. We.

Have my mouse thing in there. Yeah, we're fine for now.

Let's move on. Move on.

We're moving on to the topics. So now we're going to start our

actual topics of the day, everyone.

That was our that was our rant for the day.

That was that was just our rant. I grant you can call it wasn't

necessarily political. No, it was our rant for.

The day public transportation and electric cars public

transportation. That was a fair, I think that

was a fair round, though, because public transportation

greatly varies from city to city.

Agreed. And you know, when you're from a

big city like New York or Chicago and you're so used to

public transportation and it's just, it is a part of your life,

and you go to other cities and you're like, detrimental.

And you're like, Oh my God, I wished I would have ordered a

lift. This is so scary.

Yeah, it is pretty bad. I'm sick of those moments, but

that's fair. But you know what else is scary?

2 Tonks and a lie or jail. Yeah, I mean, both are pretty

scary. Both are pretty.

Scary. Kind of scary.

This tonk is scary. I'm not.

Am I really that scary? Though you're really not.

Actually, I don't think so. I mean, because the entire time,

like I was like, well, not the entire time, but recently you

said that I scared you because of my.

You do kind of scare me. Criminal slash jail experience.

I thought you were gonna murder me at some point.

No, I haven't murdered anyone. Yet.

I'm not a murderer. Yet she did 10 years hard time.

She's out on parole and she finds her way to me.

My next. Victim.

Guys if I go missing. No you won't.

You're fine. Or at least not like Nancy Gun

3, but. Oh my God.

Nancy. You're still missing though.

But anyway, Nancy, RIP. So why don't you start with, why

don't you just start from the beginning?

Let's just let's hear everything and I will, I'll, I'll pick some

questions as we go. OK, so well, do we have to start

at the beginning because my beginning.

Wherever you want to start dialing.

OK. So most recently, we'll start

most recently. So I had a court meeting with

the San Antonio like San Antonio court System on Monday, Tuesday

it was Tuesday and then Wednesday I had both days.

I had to go to both days. Tuesday was at like 1:30 in the

afternoon and then the next day was like 9 in the morning.

So and these were to discuss my felony charge that I had

accumulated in San Antonio, TX. So what happened was.

What? Happened was I was basically

homeless and couch surfing in San Antonio and I had made the

executive decision to move to Nashville because I had family

here. It was the easiest way to hit

reset all my life, of course. So we've all been there.

Yeah. And so I had made the executive

decision to move to Nashville at like two or three in the

morning. I don't know why I was that

early, but it was like two or three AM.

And so throughout that day, I had planned to say goodbye to my

friends, anyone that was important to me.

And so I had a friend who was staying at a hotel at the time

for motel really at Studio 6 off of San Pedro, if anyone knows

San Antonio, not me. So I went to go visit them, say

goodbye to them. And then right after I was

saying goodbye and leaving, there was an officer that pulled

out right behind me. And I was like, OK, well shit.

This is kind of like great, great, great, great, because

supposedly that motel is notoriously known for drug sales

and prostitution. All the good stuff.

All the good stuff, all the fun stuff, all the fun stuff.

And this isn't even in Vegas. This is San Antonio.

So it wasn't even. It's illegal to do that there.

It might have been like, was there something on your car that

they was a good excuse to like, pull you over?

Like you had something on your mirror?

There was a blinker. Out of suspicion, strictly out

of suspicion. That was, that was their.

Excuse to pull me this case. To pull you over and that was

all justified and legal in the system and everything.

Supposedly so far yeah, but so they pulled me over literally

like as they was pulling out and I just so happened to be on some

controlled substances at the time.

I am since then been sober of. Course good thank you Woohoo

gave me so bright. Give yourself an.

Applause. Yeah, that's right.

We have that now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Clapping. Is that the one that works?

I think, I hope so. I think it works.

I hope so. We'll find out.

So I had a controlled substance on myself in my bag that was 1

to 4G and I told the officer Oh dear.

So the officer asked to search my vehicle and I said no because

you guys always leave it a mess and never clean up after

yourselves. Which is true.

Like they don't. It's your response to the

opposite. You guys are pigs.

You guys are messy. I'm not going to like go through

my car and destroy it all because I have to clean up after

your asses. No.

And I want you to like go through.

It. So, but they went and searched

it anyways and that's when they found that they controlled

substance. And then I was arrested that

morning, taken in, and it was at like 10:00 AM when that

happened, like 10:11 AM. So the rest of the day I spent

in the San Antonio Bear County booking section of their jail.

And later that afternoon at like 7:00 or 8:00 PM, one of the

correctional officers was reading a list of names.

I didn't know what it was at the time.

And so my name just happened to be on it.

So, and later I find out the officer says like the more you

like, like basically cooperate and this will go a lot faster.

Blah blah. And I was like, yeah, it's all a

trick. Yeah, I was like, yeah, sure,

whatever. But no.

It was a list to be released. I know, but they always say

they're going to like, hey, we'll help you if you do this

and it always comes back and bite to.

It I guess, but like I was I had no idea because like.

I know it's really hard when you don't know what's going on.

I know. So what happened was I was

released that night. Literally like hours later I

spent the day in a fucking holding and then was released.

To me it felt like nothing. And so I had sold my vehicle

that next day and then within like two or three hours I was on

the road to Nashville to move to Nashville and all within like a

24 hour period. And so I had kind of forgot that

I had that I guess arrest on my record.

And because it was a controlled substance, it was a class

something. I forgot what class it was, but

it was a felony charge. And so it took me forever to

finally get like indicted and like everything like processed.

The whole thing takes forever. Yeah, but it was, it's been 6

years, right, Since then, like it's been six whole years.

So me and my lawyer, that's why we had the court sessions

earlier this week was to try to get it dismissed, or at least

get it to the point where we could fight for lack of a speedy

trial on the court's part to get it dismissed because it had been

six years, right? Like why is has it taken so

long? So long?

So that's what we were talking about.

And we got approved for the motion to reschedule for a court

date to fight the fact that it was lack of a speedy trial on

the court behalf. So the next court date is going

to be on the 30th of this month. And you have to go back to San

Antonio. No, this one.

This one was approved to be a Zoom meeting.

OK, OK. So, but if it doesn't, if the if

the motion doesn't like is not successful, then there is at

some point I am going to have to go back to San Antonio at some

point if the case keeps going. So but yeah, that was that.

And then recently, back in November of 2025, I was arrested

then because I thought I was like I was on probation and I

thought I was going in to like pay my last fine.

Be telling. Me, all that.

Yeah. But they don't.

No, I know. I just said I'm remembering

right now. Yeah.

So I want to go into pay. My last fine showed up in court

and they said that I had a probation violation.

And I was like what for? Like what probation did I

violate? And supposedly when you're on

probation, you can't have any cop encounters at all, even if

you're the victim, which I was. So I had a motorcycle accident

back in August. Oh my God.

Now this. You didn't tell me.

Oh no. Yeah, so back in August, I had a

motorcycle accident that totaled my second motorcycle.

Boo Hoo. Because it's second driver's

fault. And so there was a bystander

that called the cops, and because they called the cops and

did the police report, it was a cop encounter.

So that was the probation violation.

Oh my. God, that's awful though Mike,

that was my copy. So that was a probation

violation. So when I went to court in

November, they had arrested me then when I was in court.

And I was looking cute too. Aw, that's so cute.

Feeling like I was. Feeling like I was looking cute,

feeling my oh it was feeling great.

Yeah. And then they arrested me, mind

you. So they told me to put my phone

back into the vehicle because there's no phones in the

courtroom or anything. Yeah, So I did that, put my

phone back in the vehicle. They arrested me.

So I have nothing. I have nothing to get like any

phone numbers off of. I only have the one that I have

memorized, which is my thank God.

So I was arrested, was there for about a week and a half.

And then I saw the judge and they were like, yeah, you're

fine. You could be released today.

So I was like, yay, finally. Perfect.

So the court is at like 9:00 in the morning and they finally

come get you at like 5-6 PM in the afternoon.

They have all day just like anticipating like them to call

your name to be released, which is torture.

So they called my name to be released.

So I go down to the booking section to collect all my things

and belongings. And one of those CE OS behind

the desk was like, wait, who's he Take him back because he has

a hold on him from Texas. No, no.

So the entire month of November I was in jail.

So this is like the 4th or 5th Thanksgiving that I have missed.

Like I've decided that the world and the universe does not want

to like want me to celebrate Thanksgiving.

So now I've decided, just like anytime is November, I'm just

gonna say Happy Fat America Day. I feel that way about Halloween.

I always have. I I've the last few Halloweens

I've had haven't been that great and I all I want to do is go out

and have a fun Halloween. I got you girl.

It has not. Happened.

I got you. I got you not.

Happened yet half the time it's because I don't want to go out

the last minute and spend $200 on a get on a costume on a

costume. So like, I think I need to start

like thinking about a costume in like August.

Yes, you do. So I think that's how anywhere I

don't mean to steal. Or at least have like two or

three backups just in case. I don't mean to steal.

I do have, I do have a backup I have.

I usually throw on my cat mask, Yeah, and a fur coat and just go

as a cat. That's.

What you did last time? Or I had.

I used to have a SpongeBob cut out that I used to wear.

I know it was just this big SpongeBob cut out that I would

wear. It was always my backup costume.

SpongeBob. Yes.

Anyways, I threw it away. OK, keep going with your keep

going. Keep going darling.

So I I was pissed the fact that they like take me back.

I have a hold on me from Texas, which I had no idea about.

I thought that was taken care of because.

Then the judge just cleared you and.

The judge just said I could be released so they took me back.

I'm pissed. I throw like I'm pissed like I'm

punching walls like I'm so mad. And then they Call My Name again

to go down to booking to get fingerprinted for this Texas

hold where I have to see the commissioner and everything.

And I'm pissed. Like, you can see it on my face.

Like I'm just irritated as hell. So I do my fingerprints.

The commissioner comes in over. She's like, she calls my name.

I was like, what? I need you to confirm your name.

I was like, you have my paper right in front of you, bitch.

Like don't act stupid. You know who the fuck I am?

Like, I'm pissed. Of course, no patience, right?

And she's like, I just had to confirm.

I was like, OK, well, it's confirmed.

Go keep going. What?

Like, now what? You guys said I could be

released and now I'm still here. Fuck, what?

Like, what could, what else could you do?

And so she basically said there was no bond.

I was like, OK, OK, well, yeah, you guys just said I could be

released, and now there's no bond.

Great. What's next?

Bitch. Like calling her a bitch?

I've heard the word. Yeah, every other sentence.

It was terrible. And then she was like, well, we

didn't run your name through, like, the national public system

or whatever. I was like, OK, and whose fault

is that? I've been here for two weeks and

you guys didn't run my name when I first got here.

Seems like a flop on your part. It's all there's flops all over

with these jail systems and all the correctional facilities.

She had nothing else. To say they're awful.

She had nothing else to say because she knows I was right.

Mess after mess after mess, and then there's always turnover

with the office. She knows I was right, She knows

I was right because it is a flop on their part.

Because I was there for two weeks and they didn't run my

name when I first showed up. Bitch, why and where?

So I was in jail for like the entire month of November and

then on December 1st or second I was extradited to Texas.

And mind you, I think the best part of the entire jail time was

the trip from Tennessee to Texas.

How did you get there? By like shuttle bus kind of the

whole. Time, yeah, from Tennessee to

Tech, that's like a 14 hour drive, right?

Yeah, but we also had to make stops.

OK. Because they had like gone

through like some route to pick up other inmates that had to be

dropped off at other jails as well because they were being

extradited as well. So what I was, I was the last

pickup, Thank God I was the last pickup.

And they, we had to drop out. There was seven other people in

the, the vehicle, I guess we'll call it like to be dropped off

at whatever jail that they were being excited to.

We had a stop off in Memphis. We had a stop in, we had like

one stop in like 2 like a county in Texas and then one just

outside of Fort Worth. And I hated the guy who dropped

off the Fort Worth. He was so annoying.

And then Houston and then finally San Antonio.

So I got to San Antonio and their booking process is

forever. I got there at like 230, AMI

wasn't. And like I posted bond at like

5:00 PM that same day on like December 2nd.

So I was there all day and then they still hadn't released me

until 3:30 the next morning on December 3rd.

So that's like what, 58910 like 10 hours just sitting, just

sitting there waiting to be called out to be released.

And so I was released in San Antonio, TX without any

resources because mind you, I remember I had left my phone in

the car. So no phone, no nothing, right?

And so thank God I had met some people in booking in San Antonio

that are so sweet, so nice when we still texted this day.

But he was super sweet, super kind that he just so happened to

be released at the same time I was, thank God.

And he was super kind and got me a burner phone and a plan.

And so I was able to like, book myself a flight back to fucking

Tennessee the same day on December 3rd.

Like it wasn't like. OK, I haven't heard the term

burner phone in a while. So what exactly is a burner

phone? 9 days?

Because back then, I mean 15 years ago, a burner phone was

just a prepaid flip phone that you bought at a gas station.

That's the thing, basically you still have prepaid flip no?

Remember that one short period of time when I had like 2

phones, 1 was an iPhone and 1 was like a little Android thing.

But is it a but it's a, it's a, it's a smartphone now like

burner phone, cheap smartphone. But so you can you can get you

can get a prepaid burner smartphone still at a gas

station. We had to wait.

We had to go to Walmart when they opened or Walmart.

We had to do that. Yeah.

So he was super nice, got me a phone, got me a fucking phone,

burner phone fan and everything and super sweet, super kind of

love him. Hope he's watching.

Hope he's listening and doing. It's nice.

It's nice when you have someone help you pick up the pieces.

I have to give my my ex-boyfriend back in Wisconsin a

lot of credit for helping me pick up a lot of pieces after my

divorce. A lot of my credit goes to my

mom, honestly. Like she.

My mom too. Absolutely.

Love her. Thanks, Mom.

Yeah, my mom, my dad, my family was always very supportive

throughout my divorce. But my ex, my ex, Jay, if you're

out there listening, he was a big help.

He really helped me pick up the pieces and we're not together

anymore. It was a very amicable breakup.

That was part of the reason why I moved to Nashville from

Wisconsin. It just there wasn't anything.

We had kind of grown apart and he was traveling a lot.

Now, was he the one that you divorced, or was he just?

Like no, this was just an ex. Jay and I were together for four

years from like. So long term.

End of 21 till Yeah, about July of August of last year.

So just long term ex. Yeah, it was just a really good

yeah. He was my boyfriend for a few

years and then but my my ex-husband is back in Chicago at

a lake house we bought in a place called Island Lake, IL.

So. But yeah, so am I OK to move on

to? I was trying.

To do you. Have any I was trying to have

any any part of your story you still want to I.

Mean there were any loose ends. There was a few like gaps

because like I do have to go to court again on the 27th.

No, the 24th form of the San Antonio probation thing, No,

sorry for the national probation thing.

It's on the 24th is when I have to go back to court and be like,

yes, here's my probation payment, yadda, yadda, yadda.

And then the 30th is my San Antonio.

Is all of this coming to an end soon though?

I mean it should finally going to get some.

It should have came to an end closure on the 17th.

It should have came to a close on the 17th.

But your. Your year, it sounds like

everything's starting to get cleaned up.

You're coming to some closure. It better, I hope not.

So if we missed an episode here coming.

Up soon, I don't know how I'm going to do the show by myself

like I guess. If we miss an episode coming up

soon, guys, I'm so sorry. It's not my fault.

Is there like a chat bot that I can do the show?

Actually I have to find a goods. I'm actually a temporary Co host

I. Actually, I have a good

reference for you. I'll FaceTime her today so you

can meet her and everything, just in case this does happen.

Oh dear. OK.

Her name is Talia. She's amazing.

Love you, girl. Hope you're listening.

You better be listening if you're going to be.

Co host. Is she twinky?

This is 2 twunks and a lot. She she's like, she's like, I

hate to say this term, but she's my fag hag.

She's a lesbian. I like get married to Emory

Woke. That was great.

That's not woke. It's not, but it's amazing.

She's great. I love her so much.

We love our fag. Hags no, I love her to death.

She's got me through we. Would be the gay community.

The gay community would be nowhere without its fag.

Hags I love her so much. She's like this little petite

thing. Like we met in college, her and

I were the only psych majors in our psychology class.

That's funny, I did surprisingly really well in my site class

last year. I aced it with Klein colors.

College isn't hard. It was like 300 level.

It's not hard. No, it wasn't.

Like this semester what I'm doing is a psychology of

criminal and ethics of a personality for psychology, and

then I'm doing corrections and incarcerations for my elective

course. That's if I don't pass that one.

I'm going to be, I think, and maybe you'll, you'll, you'll

know what I'm talking about. My psychology class was a 300

level course and I had to just take it for the elective to get

my 3 but it was conditional and it's classical conditioning.

And what's the other one? Something else?

There was no. There's concrete conditioning

and then classical. It was all in conditioning and I

can't remember what the other one was.

But either going. It was in person.

Yeah, like with paper. And you say has to be.

So I couldn't cheat. No, can't cheat.

No. Can't use AI.

No, can't do anything. Not really.

I still aced it. Congratulations.

I was actually pretty proud of myself.

I have to give myself credit after.

After. And what do you remember from

the class? I remember how classical,

classical conditioning, I kind of remember the equations on the

the stimuli and the OK, nothing. I don't remember anything, but I

did ace it at the time I thought so there was like these little

equations like the stimuli and then the thing and then it

equals the thing. I knew I I know I understood it

back then. So there's a stimulus, which is

usually the cause of the behavior that is invoked.

OK, so there was a hold on. There was a dog example.

One of the scientists used dogs and he had a saliva on.

It rang saliva. He rang a bell to indicate that

they were going to be fed. Yes.

And then the bell is the thing. The bell was the thing that the

bell is the I don't know the word, but the bell is the

conditioning tool, I guess as you would say.

Yes, I see. I know about all this and the

guy did the dog where he was monitoring saliva when they

would ring a bell and get a treat.

Then he would take the treat away and just ring the bell.

And they were still saliva. And they were still saliva.

See, I know what the hell I'm talking about.

But it also goes in with humans too.

They they just use dogs for that experiment because it was marked

most like humane, I guess because it wasn't like actual

human trials. It was like dogs.

Yeah. So and that.

Yeah. Anyways, but we get to move on

to. Yeah.

So me mentioning your divorce was trying to like no trying to

segue into. It we'll, we'll segue back.

No, but picking, having someone picking up the pieces, that's

what we were talking about. It is, it is very helpful

because I, I mean, my, my ex was, I don't know if I would

have been able to do without my ex.

I mean, he really didn't, he didn't care that I was going

through divorce. He didn't really judge me or

anything. But this was the this was the ex

I was just lost in. Wisconsin.

Yeah, OK. That was there's Chicago

ex-husband and there's Wisconsin ex-boyfriend.

Some days I feel like Ross like 3 divorces.

Like, I don't know how anyone does that.

I don't even have like a single divorce under my belt.

And I kind of. Don't and then there was there

was like another short term ex like in between those two.

So like she literally I literally I literally am like

she's. Just a hoe.

I am I am like Ross, like 3 divorces like.

Just a hoe, that's what she is. So anyways, my ex, my ex-husband

and I though met when I was I think like 25 back in Chicago.

We met he actually. This is the ex-husband.

Ex-husband. I'm starting from the beginning.

ex-husband ex-husband I was serving tables late night at a

little vegan. It was vegan and carnivore kind

of place. How can it be the end of it's

carnivore? Because they had two separate

cooks, two separate fryers, 2 separate.

So they had a vegan option. Yes, they had the vegan menu

items, and then they also had meat and cheese and dairy and

everything, but they also had vegan dairy.

So kind of like Cheesecake Factory.

I didn't know Cheesecake Factory.

Yeah, they have. The skinny licious menu, which

is the vegetarian side. Yeah, they just, it was just

kind of like they had litter. Litter.

They can work with anybody, honestly.

They're. Aya chia, some would say.

And I was in the heart of Wrigleyville of Chicago, so a

very rowdy area, but great place to make money though It was.

It was awesome. A very busy place.

Yeah, I I had worked there for a couple years and he actually

came through one night and he left his number on the receipt.

That's so corny. That was really cute.

No, it's corny it. Was like the start of a romance.

Movie. Exactly.

It's corny it. Ended like a horror movie, but

it's like, so that happened and I he just still, he used to joke

around that like he I wasn't even at the car yet and you were

already texting me. Were you really?

Yeah, like texted him right then and there.

I did kind of text, but usually I kind of like wait a little bit

because I mean I would like get numbers on the receipts every

once in a while, but it was always somebody like.

How many, really? Necessarily I probably over the

I've worked there for like 3 years, I probably got probably

like once a year someone would maybe have the balls to do that.

So you got like 3 to 4 numbers total.

Yeah, yeah, about about 3 or 4 numbers.

But the other, the other ones weren't really anyone that I was

like actually into. My ex-husband was the only one

that I actually was like, wow, I.

And like into the fact that you would text him literally seconds

from him leaving. The table, yeah.

And then we were kind of like inseparable ever since we did

and like that first year is always good for anybody, right,

because you're. The honeymoon phase.

Yeah, and it, it lasts about a good year actually, I would say.

And and also not everyone does. Well, hold on.

Because like dating in Chicago is different because it's really

cold all the time. So you're always, when you're

going into like winter season, they call it cuffing season.

That's that's universal. OK, OK.

Cuffing season is universal. I'm still kind of like what is.

I thought cuffing. I thought cuffing.

Would be like dirty. No cuffing season is basically

engagement like with the rings. OK.

I thought it, I thought it was kinky.

No, it's literally cuffing season is literally just

proposal season. OK, well, Chicago has cuffing

season, which is the winter season.

But then like festival season is when it's warm out, so

everybody's partying and hooking up.

No one's actually ever really looking for relationships.

So like, yeah, it's really hard. And I've heard from other people

too, like dating in Chicago can be kind of hard because of that.

So it just seems like it doesn't.

It just doesn't seem, it seems like no matter what season it

is, it's not this difficult season.

And so maybe that's what it. Is I mean romance season is

cupping season technically because that's when all the

proposals happen. And it probably takes about a

year for someone to start showing their true colors.

Usually about I would. The honeymoon phase that and so

the honeymoon phase lasted about a year.

Like in the honeymoon phase, you're like watching you don't

burp, you hold your farts in. You kind of like yes, like try

to be still be cutesy. Like some people, like I know

girls especially, they try to like wake up a few minutes

earlier than the husband, go to the bathroom, touch up their

gloss and like, look how cute. I wouldn't.

I would run in and mouthwash at least real quick and then run

back to bed. Absolutely 100%.

So it and it lasted about a year.

Yeah, cuz then you get tired and you're just like, I can't do

this forever. And then I would say cuz he and

I were together for almost 6 years, married for three.

And then after that, I mean, I wouldn't, I would say, I would

go as far as saying marriage. Marriage really does kind of

change everything. I agree.

It really kind of it does shift to dynamic.

It does. I don't know why because I

wouldn't. I we started having problems

almost right after we got married.

I don't know why the marriage that life event was.

So I don't know why it is. It seemed like we were pretty

decent up until then but also like we just had a lot of

differences as far as like he was like ex military and treated

like a boot camp whereas I'm a little bit more free going and I

go with the flow, see where the wind takes us that day kind of

person. He was like, no.

No, because. Of structure and we need

projects and then we get free work hard and then then we get

free time because he's. Military, like everything in his

life, had been dictated up until that moment.

So he needs something to like go.

Up and then hold on mute point on that too.

He was super, he grew up super religious Baptist like 3-3 days

a week. So him being gay already you?

Get that? Him being gay already is like a

shunning. Horrible relationship with his

pastor father. Horrible relationship.

Like. But then forced to go and act

like the perfect family at church three days a week.

You kind of are he had any religious bases?

He had to get up. He, I think he pretty much said

he went into the military just to get away from them.

Good for him. And I don't blame him based on

what he told me. Like apparently they were a

little bit of a trashy family. I mean, drinking and fighting

not. But then every Sunday they had

to present like, oh, we're so happy and loving.

Well, half the site his mom and dad were.

And so he had half the side, which is his dad, which was the

religious side, the religious side, he was the pastor.

So he was going in and oh, we're the perfect family, we're so

great and everything but. Behind closed doors, but.

Behind the closed doors, it's not like his dad was abusive or

anything, but like he was really cheap and made everybody live a

cheap lifestyle. We can't have new toys, we can't

have new clothes. We can't do any of that sticks

in the yard. We have to give to the church,

like play with the sticks in the yard.

But his dad always had the most newest, most beautiful, nicest

suit for church. He was just a very he was a

selfish prick. He was my father.

My ex father-in-law was a horrible person, but Oh my God

he was the he was the Baptist minister of the era that

everyone just adored so. Calvin Klein suit he was.

Awful. He was awful.

Tom Ford and my ex inherited some of those traits and I

started noticing it. I'm like, girl, we you, you have

all this money for all this stuff that you want to go do.

But when I wanted to go, my favorite comedian back in the

day was Wanda Sykes. I still love her, but when I

want to go see Wanda Sykes at the Chicago Theater and I get

questioned about it and it's only $150.00, this is just not

gonna work. And it was just like little

things like that. I'm like you really need this is

a two way St. How many brothers does he have,

just out of curiosity? Yeah, Oh my God, his family is.

So massive, just big family, a lot of siblings.

So I'm just well, because it's Oh yeah, just kids.

And who lived with his dad like him?

And how many siblings that lived in that household with his dad?

So you have the dad. Whatever mistress he's seeing

that week. He has a full brother OK between

his blood mom and blood dad. And then how many Mom and dad

split. So then the dad married again

and they had two more boys. So he has two half.

Two half brothers and A and a full brother.

So there's like 4 total including those halves hold on

him, his brother, and then the two halves on his dad's side at

least. Yes, there is two brothers on

the half side. I'm trying.

I had to think of the other one. Yes.

There was there's a cute. One and a not so cute.

One, the only reason why I'm asking is because my one

brother, the one that currently lives with me, has picked up

some of the worst traits that my dad has too.

We all slowly turn into our parents.

The. Anger management that my dad has

whenever he's under any type of alcohol, my brother has

constantly. Whenever he's not attached to a

video game, he's angry all the fucking time and it makes me

work for my nephew. So I'm just, I was just curious

if it's like just like a thing between like passed down to sons

or whatever. But he also has so he has the

two younger step brothers or half brothers.

And then on the mom side. On the mom's side it they never

had any more kids, but then the stepdad has a daughter too.

So he has a step sister who has. 11 kids.

So the stepdaughter. Has a love birth Catholic, super

Catholic so and I don't think she's done.

I wouldn't be surprised if she popped out and she's like in her

late 40s. I wouldn't be surprised if she

popped out more. So step sister has the million

children. Million children and they all

grow up and they can't wait to get away from her because she.

Has. She has all these kids that says

a lot and then expects everybody to help her take care of them

and everybody runs well. Can you blame them?

That's why she has more kids, because she has other.

To take care of the kids. It was insane.

His family was just like they were.

A tornado mix. It was a mess.

The whole thing was just a mess. So I wasn't close with my in

laws at all. I don't blame you.

I don't think anyone else. I'll give my mother-in-law and

my ex mother-in-law and my ex stepfather in law.

They were very nice. I have to give them credit.

They were fine. But the whole, the whole

situation was just a mess. It was.

It was almost a bit overwhelming sometimes.

Like I could imagine. Oh my God, so and so we already

were kind of like we were back in Skokie in Chicago.

If anyone knows where Skokie is? It sounds very rural.

No, it's a border suburb on the north of Chicago.

It's actually wonderful little perfect hidden gem to live,

actually, because you've got the convenience of the city.

But then you're also right on the highway too.

So you have the convenience of the highway, but then you also

still have the train that goes to that.

They have their own specific train that goes to the suburb

anyways, so. Which is nice.

It is very nice. I actually do miss living in

Skokie. It was a wonderful little area.

OK, so we were living there. We were in a one bedroom

apartment, one bedroom condo. So we've got our first condo and

he was. Part of the two lies last week,

right, which was part of your one truth and a lie last week,

which that's the condo you were talking about.

I forgot what I said, but yeah, you.

Said that you had only been on one trip during covert season

with him. You had a condo on some Chicago

stream? It was, I said, Michigan Ave.

We did not live in. Michigan, but you had a condo,

which is the one you're talking about right now.

Yes, that is the condo. And he remodeled the whole

thing. He was.

Yeah. He just absolutely did

everything. And then I find out, though,

that like, OK, he's tried to screw me with that in the

divorce because, like, that was that technically in his name.

We weren't married yet. So he was kind of all doing it

for himself, though. He liked to say, oh, I'm doing

this all for you so you can have a nice condo.

You were all doing this for yourself.

He was gonna he sold it under his name.

I didn't I he didn't think I was going to see it dime.

But thank for God for Illinois law.

That changed towards the end. But anyway, so he he did remodel

the whole condo. It looked beautiful, I will say

that. But then COVID hit and it was

it. Yeah, we got married and then

like 2 years later COVID hit and then that was kind of like the

start of the demise because you guys were together in an hamster

cage 800 square foot condo. Granted, like I said, it was a

beautiful condo. All brand new, brand new shower

doors, tile shower, everything was beautiful.

But stuck, I will say absolutely stuck in a hamster cage.

Two people that like any 2. Like if it's like I was a COVID

divorce, I'll admit it. That's fine.

There's no shame in it. No, every.

It happened to a lot of people, but we were already kind of

having some issues going up until that point.

But it was. COVID was the detriment.

COVID was the death. Yes, absolutely.

I have this one friend who had been like with his partner only

for like 8 months and because the partner didn't have a job

and he worked from home, that's kind of that's a big chunk of

it. That's a big chunk of it right

there. And friend worked from home

majority of the time. So like you, he was stuck in

this itty bitty one bedroom like X amount of square foot

apartment with the partner basically.

And was like, and the partner's unwell like he's psychotic and

everything. It's so bad.

Floyd one, yes, it's bad. And I got an update on him today

too. Actually, it's not my business

to share. Okay, good.

But anyways, but I got an update today on them and.

So friends doing great. He's now in Dallas and doing

amazing. But friend, the ex partner is

not well. So now we're at COVID, right?

We're stuck in the hamster cage. We'll stuck in the hamster cage.

Yeah, with my ex-husband, honestly.

So we're already kind of having some disconnects on a lot of

stuff. I kind of get the feeling that

he doesn't want to go do the recreational stuff that I want

to do, like hiking and water stuff, which can be fun, all of

that. I love doing nature stuff, and

I'm kind of starting to get the idea that he doesn't want to do

it. So I'm like, OK.

Well, he's not a nature. And then we got, I don't know, I

still kind of toss back and forth.

I think it was just a a matter of he wanted to choose where to

go, but then like he would never actually choose anything.

So then I choose something and it's so like, I'm like, OK,

well, then what do you want to do then?

Because I'm losing my mind in this little fucking hamster cage

during this COVID pandemic. It was awful.

Having said, we do need to go rock climbing one day.

Together I love rock climbing. I I have a little bit of a fear

of heights now, but I think I can work with rock climbing a

little. Bit indoor wall so you'll.

Be indoor. I can be fab, absolutely fine.

But. Compromise for both of us when

it's indorsed for me too. It's a Rockwall for you, yeah.

I can handle that, but so proceed Atari.

So we were having disconnects on what we wanted to go do and

stuff we had in common and everything.

I think another thing too, was just kind of just assumed that I

was gonna be the little homemaker and just bowed to him

and take care of him and rub his feet after he sits down on the

recliner and put his shoes away and be the 50s housewife.

Which I mean, it's not a bad gig if they make enough.

OK, but. I'm.

I am also. Of Co a very independent

individual. It's just not what I signed up

for, I guess. And I think, and I think that

like back in the day, maybe I thought it was cute and maybe

that is what I wanted, but I think I grew out of it.

I mean, and he wasn't. And and I kind of we kind of had

to talk about that, but then like he also just.

Also, once you live in, it's not the same as wanting it.

Like once you live the experience of like what you

think you want, you kind of were like, oh, this is not what I

wanted at all, but. The problem when you talked

about him was something is he, they teach you stuff in the

Marines, like mind games and I'll switch conversations on and

I and I was, I would just, I, I couldn't, I'm like, there was

that one, there was that one point.

I was just like, I can't talk to you about anything.

Was he personally known for it? Yeah, yeah.

And just and kind of always flipping it back on me, but like

in a nice way, kind of but like I'm like, these are I'm like,

these are mind games. This is manipulation that I'm

like that I started picking up on.

At least he was. Doing it in a nice.

Way it was nice about it but I'm also like that's very cunning

and very sly and this is just not what I wanted out of snake

like very that's not what I wanted out of a husband like now

I don't trust you like now there's now we're losing trust

so. And and then, of course, can't

forget still being stuck in a hamster cage during the

pandemic. Yeah.

So enclosed. So we start to go on trips.

Yeah. We start to finally actually go

do stuff. Yeah.

I would say 3, Two of the three trips, we kind of argued and I,

we didn't really get along the whole time.

Because you guys were still in a hamster cage, basically.

Just just trying to get out and do stuff and we were still just,

I was trying to just get along, I guess.

But then the problem, the biggest thing was, and I think I

brought this up in my 222 cats and a lie and we got it.

Then our cat died, which was we were already having problems.

Then our then our poor little Kitty.

I was our little fluffy cat that died.

And so then we were just like just sad and mourning.

I know it's a cat, everyone. A pet is a pet is a.

Family when you don't have kids, and that is.

Your your fur baby. Your fur baby.

It's horrifying, right? It's terrible.

We kind of came together a little bit after that happened,

but then we got a new cat that and it was a breeder cat.

Yes. I'm sorry.

I don't shame me for getting a breeder cat.

I have. My dog was a purebred.

I have had five rescues throughout my life pay too.

So I just want that for the record.

My only dog was a purebred so I'm not hating.

I have. So I saved up and I went and got

what's called an ASA cat, which basically looks like a Bengal,

but it's not a hybrid Wildcat. It's all domestic.

So they don't ruin your house, they don't piss everywhere.

That's what they say. They well, it was a very good

cat. It was I and I, I would actually

think about maybe getting one again.

I just I have my hands full now. But so we got this cat that's

supposed to be able to walk on a leash and act like a dog and do

all the stuff, go hiking and everything.

And it kind of did, but you don't walk a cat.

No, you can put them on a leash and they'll Mosey around and

maybe follow you if that they don't, if that this one did this

one did this one was really good about all that, but you it's

it's not walking a dog. OK, so so the cat was great

actually, when we would get to where we're going on like hiking

and stuff, get little trails, it was fine get to however the.

Trail, Oregon. The traveling part.

You get there, the ride. To the right to the right to the

the right to the hiking trail was crazy.

Just aren't designed for car rides it's so bad.

And that was the basically the start of the.

End we fought every single every single place we brought that

cat, which was actually and mind you, we our big trip we went to

was Gatlinburg down here. Yes, that was actually one of

the first times I've been to Tennessee.

Very depressing. So no, well, actually it was

depressing because I didn't get to see Gatlinburg because it was

a pandemic. Like we went hiking and did all

the outdoor stuff that was open, but then we didn't do anything

on the inside cuz it was all kind of closed down and limited

and it was awful. So I actually kind of want to do

Gatlinburg Pigeon Forge again. It looked like it was for real,

like kids and stuff, which is perfect cuz I'm like, I'm a

little kid inside. So like I, I want to go do all

the tourist kids stuff too. So but then the cat, it would

it, that cat meowed. Yeah, the entire way down here.

Yeah. And it caused it.

We fought the whole time. We it was bad.

And so not so then that was just the Gatlinburg trip and the cat

just screamed the whole time that we fought.

And then there was other little trips that we went on around

Chicago where we brought the cat.

I know, I know. Isn't it funny that like this

was like a huge deal in my marriage was stop laughing, stop

laughing. This is a major event in my life

that I I was like, OK, it's just funny because I know how it

sounds when you're hearing about.

It I'm not. I thought that I was.

I've been saying yeah and for like the past five minutes to

see if you would notice. Just I'm telling my story.

I'm sorry. Reclaiming my time.

Reclaiming my time. Yeah, keep going.

So yeah, this is, this is. We're coming up to the end.

Don't worry. So we went on a couple little

trips and that cat puked and shit everywhere in the side of

inside of that car. And because of that.

And I threw a fit then like, I'm over this.

This is too much. This is annoying.

And he was the he was the kind that was what he says kind of

goes like he just, he didn't say so.

Yeah, he was just kind of that guy.

He was kind of a Dick about that.

That's ultimately why we ended up divorcing.

But this was just an example. The cat was an example.

He I don't even want to talk anymore.

No, keep going to do. That keep going, keep going to a

lie, have a good weekend, keep going.

It was it was kind of a final thing.

No, it was he would not he would not budget on bringing this damn

cat around. Like I kind of was over the

whole Instagram cat thing, you know, like we're going to have

the Super cat that vacations with us thing and after I was

scrubbing shit for like the third time out of the car, I'm

like, I'm over this, I'm done. He was not having it.

He would. He would.

He would not. Budget would.

He clean out the car, would he? Clean up any of the vomit or

shit in the car at all. No, he would, he would go take

the he would go, oh, I'm gonna go take care of the cat.

I'll, I'll walk the cat around while you clean.

I was the 50s housewife while you cleaned the car, you cleaned

up the vomit. I was cleaning it all up.

I'm like, I'm over this I'm done I'm over this.

So then we kind of got into the, so now we're getting into 2021

of January and we kind of are just, we're not.

And that was a cohesive anymore. We weren't really a cohesive

couple anymore at that point. Yeah, yeah, it was kind of done

after a few. We went on one trip and we went

on and we bought a house thinking that we could maybe try

to revive it, run from our problems.

Maybe we need to get. Maybe we need to get out of the

hamster cage. Maybe we need a house.

Maybe you know that doesn't work, right?

OK, giving it a try. We didn't know what else to do

at this point. I mean, it was, we was, we were

on the verge of divorce before, months before it even happened.

So we bought a house, took a trip, we tried to do everything

we could. We get into that house that

needs to be completely re renovated again.

So now I'm going through a whole new, whole new renovation thing,

which is a lot for a person. Yeah, when I don't want to work

on this kind of stuff. No.

And he's perfect at it and loves this kind of stuff.

But just again, differences, you know?

But differences do attract. I got in, I got into that house

there. I got into that house for two or

three weeks. We started projects and I'm

like, I can't do this. I don't want to.

I don't want to work on this house.

I'm not happy with you. We have nothing in common.

You whatever you feel like, says, goes like whatever.

Final say so. Yeah, he's the final say.

I have no say in anything. I'm still being treated like the

50s housewife. Yeah, that was that was where we

were at. I had kind of had it, so I

actually moved back to my hometown and I lived in my mom's

salon. For a.

Few months. Remember when I said I well, I

practically was. I practically was raised in a

salon for sure. But like when I I actually made

that salon my home for a while because COVID.

Also. So COVID also kind of hurt my

mom's business too, unfortunately.

So she. I mean, she's a salon owner, so.

Yeah, it was. People started noticing that

they can do their own nails at home.

They can do their own. Hair the barrel.

Well, or they could do their own color.

Like people got creative during the panel, People got creative

during. There were a lot of people

coming to my mom going. I'm so.

Sorry, I'm so sorry. Can you fix this?

So, but I literally, I moved out of that house and I lived in my

mom's salon because it was kind of vacant.

I just made an apartment out of it and I lived there in my

hometown of by you're in Illinois.

And then when did you move to your grandma's?

Basement. I didn't, I did.

So hold on, let me get there. I'll finish this up because I

know we're probably. You're slightly over, but it's.

Okay, it's fine. This is an important episode.

I'm getting a lot off our chest here.

So we are at summer of 2021 and I had lived in my.

I lived in the salon for a little while and then I met

ex-boyfriend from Wisconsin, Jay.

During the divorce. Yeah, I had already filed, but

yeah. And moved out.

But yeah, so. And then I met Jay and we hit it

off really well. We became best friends and we

did the normal gay thing. We moved in after three weeks.

I thought I was more lesbian and said again.

I know gays do it too, we just don't admit it.

But the salon was being sold. I'm sorry, you're right,

lesbians are like a week after. We lesbians are like the day of.

Yeah, after the first date, but. Your pussy out, Move in no.

God, you said the P word. Oh.

I'm sorry, that's the swat. So, but my mom, I got an

opportunity to sell the salon and she was like, you know, we

need to get this moving because this is just a vacant building

sitting here eating up money. So let's sell it.

So I got out of there after a few of like four months of

living there and I kind of missed it because it was kind of

cute. All my friends were.

It was downtown of the town and all my friends were right there.

It was right next to all the bars.

Amazing. Yeah, it was easy.

Just walk over there, have some fun.

And then I have some after parties over at the at the

salon. So, and there was one time where

we even had a makeup party. The one of my mom's makeup

artists just ghosted her and left, didn't pay her rent,

nothing, but left all of her stuff there.

So we just went in there. We had a huge makeup party.

Oh my God, we made ourselves look like clowns one night.

It was hilarious. So drag Queens.

Complete we did do a DIY drag queen makeup party that night.

It was hilarious and funny. I have I have pictures I can

show you so but so I moved to Wisconsin and I lived in Madison

with Jay for a little while. We had a we had a really nice

loft apartment that he and I still talk about how we miss

sometimes. We just loved that apart.

OK, so anything OK, so confession, I don't know if it's

a really confession, but I love a loft.

I love love too loft. I love.

My loft, if it has a spiral staircase, I didn't have I

didn't have the spiral staircase, but.

I had just any loft. I loved my loft.

I had a fireplace, like a big mantle fireplace with stone.

I would have a oil pin to get myself above it.

OK, here's my beef with the loft.

I don't know. There is one thing.

What's your What's your one? What's your one thing with a

little? Remember how?

I said I'm very temperature sensitive.

The hot upstairs and downstairs completely like environments.

Is like sleeping in hell upstairs.

Entirely different. Environments we had two prices

we had two hot options for a loft style we had a what's

considered you have two options for a loft.

Usually it's just one in our association where we were, we we

we shared a studio because he had already got the studio

before he met me. Yeah, I know so.

And his lease was up in like a few months.

So we did. So we well, I just moved in with

him to the studio. So picture me, him as a studio

in a studio it. Was fine.

That sounds worse than the condo it.

Was only a few I know and it was only a few months, but it was

honeymoon phase so it was fine. We had we had kind of just met.

So we were all like yay, I love you for.

The time being. And but it was only a few months

that we were kind of just, it was really cheap for us to split

that condo too. Of course, that's studio, our

studio. So, but then eventually we were

like, OK, well, it's been 3 or 4 months and the least sending we

need to upgrade. So we got a, we got a, you could

have a loft upstairs and the bedroom was downstairs.

And that's considered a 2 bedroom technically.

Or you could have just the one bedroom with the loft.

Loft upstairs, which is like a. Game.

Almost, but it had a really nice fireplace.

So you went with the game? Room and we liked the fireplace

so but our bedroom was upstairs in the loft so it was.

Like but there was a but there was a hot but it was the bedroom

downstairs. There was and not in the one

bedroom. There would there was only it

was a 2 bedroom or one bedroom. We went with the one bedroom.

OK, so there was no bedroom downstairs.

Not in the one we chose. Because was there a bathroom

upstairs? Fireplace and we liked the

balcony more. Was there a bathroom upstairs or

was it only downstairs? Only one bedroom.

Well, only one bathroom upstairs.

Upstairs. OK.

So it's more like, OK, so yeah. So that's a lot.

So we had that and then he actually had three kids.

Like he has three teenage sons, 2 teenage sons and a daughter.

So I was actually kind of a stepdad for a while live.

With the mom and he has some on weekends.

He they stayed with us a little bit, but they generally like to

stay at the at their mom's house.

She had probably. Had their own space.

She had a big nice house. She has a big nice house still,

so good for her. But no, the kids were fine.

Like we all got along. Everything was great.

How old are you at this time? Bitch, this was like just like a

year or two ago. Like this is how you're.

Still in the 30s. So this is like recent, yeah,

I'm like well into my 30s at this point.

So like, this is all very recent.

You were. Like 3233?

Yeah, that's not well into your 30s.

Well into your 30s is at least 30.

Five, I'm 35 now and it's been happening for the last four

years, so. But not really cuz you're no

longer with them and either way, stepdad.

OK, anyways, so we had our loft and then we moved.

He was like, you know, I kind of should maybe move a little bit

closer to the kids. And I'm like, I was all for it

because I wanted a house. I'm like, I have lived in condos

and apartments my whole like my half my adult career.

I'm like half my adult life. I'm I'm kind of over it.

I want to try a house. I want.

So we found this cute little small ranch with like a fourth

acre third acre lot. Not just a house, you found a

full ranch and. Well, the house was a ranch.

Ranch style. Ranch style house, I should say

that, yes. OK, thank you.

It was in town, It wasn't a ranch.

It was a ranch style house. So like a cute little White

House. And I wouldn't, I just wouldn't

say I hated living in a house. But it's a lot of estimated how

much was a lot having a house was.

It's a lot. There's a lot.

I really did. And there's a lot which actually

I do need to get to my house too eventually because the yard is

looking gnarly because now that it's.

Heard your mom say that last night.

Yeah, she's like, can we all start pitching into the front

yard? No, no, she didn't say All Star.

She said it like I need you to come and do the yard.

Oh yeah, she actually just kind of, but because I knew, didn't

she? Because she knows the brother

won't do it. The gay ones always have to take

on all the responsibilities. It's so sad like I do the

dishes, I do the yard, I do everything in that house only

because I have a lazy ass brother who doesn't do shit.

A lazy ass brother doesn't do shit and a mom who I think she

does. She deserves not to do any work

anymore. Like honestly at that part I'm

not mad about. It's the brother I'm pissed up

and and his wife. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if you guys are listening.

I doubt it but like put your fucking kids toys away.

Please, please put your kids toys away at the end.

Of the day, there's the bus and there's your family under it.

Oh gosh, how do you really feel like?

I love my nephew, but Jesus Christ, I should not be the one

picking up his toys, you know what I mean?

I'm so sorry. Sorry, I doubt they're

listening. He just finally found out I had

a podcast. I'm not telling him the name of

it, but he just finally found out I had one my.

Mom right now my mom knew right from the start No, she she knew

right from the start. She listened to the very first

episode I. Told my mom she.

Already put our comments on comments on Spotify.

Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Mom.

She's actually our only comments so thanks mom, but like no one

else has said anything. I told my mom like my mom knows

about it and she knows. So she knows like I'm because we

found it like my place. And you're like she knows.

My mom knows, but she doesn't, she's not a podcast person.

She barely listens to music. I just started getting into

podcasts. Like I like them.

I do, but I have to be like in a mood.

Well, anyways, I think we are starting getting to the end of

the show. But so like, OK, so the

Wisconsin house, my ex and I just decided that it was time.

You know, he worked, he he worked 3/4.

He traveled for work 3-4, three weeks out of the four.

That sounds like a dream. So no, no, not when you're stuck

in a row. Wisconsin.

I was pretty, I was kind of alone.

So I was like, you know, I don't think it's going to work anymore

because he just started traveling more and more for

work. So that and, and on the on this

final note, that is actually where I saw Eyes on Nashville.

So. But it's not our final note

because we still have to do 2 lies in a tree with us.

That is my no and final notes of just the whole story.

So, but we, we had actually came on a trip to Nashville years ago

with the kids and everything. And that was when I thought

about maybe Nashville is going to be actually where I want to

live because I loved it. It's it's a perfect.

Compromise. Perfect distance away from

Chicago. Yeah, it's not too hot like down

South. Like, I don't know if I want the

total heat all the time, every day, all 360.

Like I don't want to do Florida heat.

No, absolutely not. But the humidity there's God

awful I've. Always thought Tennessee and

North Carolina were like the temperature, like the Goldilocks

kind of latitude for temperature.

It's kind of funny because my the best friend, totally the one

that might be your Co host if I do go to jail again.

She lives in North Carolina, so you guys would have to like be.

Like zoom into Carolina. The problem was North Carolina

was too far away to drive back to Chicago and I did not want to

have to. I mean, like, look at what's

been going on with the airlines for the last fucking year.

Like the year, the air controller issue, RHS, the TSA

issue that's going on right now, just.

A ton of plane crashes. This is why I did not want to

depend and the plane crashes too.

This is not. This is why I did not want to

depend on how having to get back for, let's say, a family

emergency. I got to get back home.

I can at least get into the car and just drive back at a

reasonable distance. Well, I'm a Midwesterner, we

drive everywhere. So like to me, a nine hour drive

is reasonable. I'm cool with that.

So especially when you have like a car that like does a lot of

the work itself. Yeah.

So, but yeah, no. And then that was how I that was

where I just decided I'm like, I really like Nashville.

And now we're here. And I.

Came down back in July and checked out all properties,

houses and this was my little townhouse.

I I really wanted a townhouse because I felt like it was the

best of both worlds but having a condo but then not having a

house too, it's kind of the best of both worlds because like I

have 0 maintenance on the outside.

I write my association check, which is very low every month,

and they do all the work for me. I moved in a month later.

I got a new roof, for God's sakes.

Congratulations. I mean, like, it's just, it is.

It is exactly the balance that I needed was having a townhouse.

I have my own house, but I have like, it's a townhouse.

They take care of everything outside.

Yes, they do. And I'm in between two places,

so like 2 units. So like the heat and the air

conditioning keeps me cool. Yeah.

So I don't really have to. I don't really have to blast the

heat of the air conditioning. That much.

The only thing like townhomes though is that it's usually just

one AC unit and not 2 because like back in Vegas we had two

upstairs and downstairs so it was easier to control.

Here it's just the one. It's funny and yes, I know what

you're talking about because I have men in hotter places than

like back in Chicago where where it's just one little air

conditioner. Just one, you know.

It's like that air conditioner. I have one air conditioner, but

have you seen the size of that air conditioner out there?

It's not that big really. I think it's huge, huge compared

to the little air conditioners back in Illinois.

As far as like for their home? That's a that's a big air

conditioner compared to the one. Like my grandma has air

conditioning her entire house back in Illinois.

Hers is half the size of that one.

Because that's in Illinois where it's.

Usually colder. No, I know.

I'm just saying when I when I first moved here though, I was

like, wow, that's a huge air conditioner.

But then I have no furnace. There's no furnace here.

There's none. So anyways, yes, that was my

saga. That was our sagas.

Our story. Of everything that we just

wanted to share with everybody, open up a little bit.

We hope that you can maybe grab something out of that and help.

Don't do drugs. That's helpful.

And you know, don't marry ex Marines.

I don't know if I would recommend that.

Best friend's a marine is married to a Marine right now,

so no. For now, no.

I didn't. I didn't prepare for one so this

is just on the fly. I don't know how you do it.

I can't do it on the fly. On the fly last week I was

panicking because I didn't do it before the show.

So I was like during the show, trying to like scramble for

things. Oh my God, so.

Writing it down on my phone. 2 truths and a lie.

I had driven 4 different vehicles in my entire life.

It's said that I'm not driving anyone now.

So first one is I've driven 4 vehicles in my toilet or like I

had owned 4 vehicles. OK, the second one is I had

lived in, yeah, 5 different cities my entire life.

And then my last one is going to be, I've only ever had one pet

that was actually mine for cars. 5 cities, 1 pet.

Which one's a lie? So the city trying to add up how

many cities you told me about? Not quite sure.

It comes up to five. You told me you're not a pet

person. Well, actually you said you are,

just you didn't say you're not a pet person.

You said you're just enjoying the freedom of not having a pet

right now. I believe the pet thing.

That I only ever owned one pet. What was the first one again?

I've driven 4 cars. You told me motorcycles.

The most recent. Should I say vehicles?

Yeah, vehicles. So now it's changing.

No, I'm catching the vehicles. I'm gonna go with the vehicle as

a lie. OK, so let me count my cities

real quick. So there was Denver, Las Vegas,

Theatre City, Austin, San Antonio.

No cities was a lie. I had only ever, I'd only ever

driven or like cars were mine mine.

I did have two motorcycles, but there were four cars that were

mine. Wait what cities did you say?

Cuz I don't know if I know about the other cities.

Denver is where I was born. I didn't know.

Oh, I did. You did tell me you were born in

Denver. I was born in Denver.

I did forget about Denver. I.

Was born in Denver but I moved when I was like one or two so I

have no memory of it. And did you or did you not ever

live in Salt Lake or you just? Never in Salt Lake.

Never once in Salt Lake. I just, I just made that up

because the Mormon thing, yeah, OK.

Never once did I live in Salt Lake.

And then 5121. Yes, 5215, but we really need to

figure that. Out.

It's still recording. We're fine.

So like I had was born in Denver, lived in Las Vegas, then

I moved to San Antonio, lived in Austin for a while, back to San

Antonio. Nashville was the 5th city that

I've lived in and I only took 4. Which one's your favorite?

Vegas, obviously still Vegas. Vegas is still my home.

Home. Home sweet home is Vegas.

And then cars and vehicles. I had only driven 4 cars in my

life. It was a Ford Focus, a Dodge

Durango. Like yeah, Dodge Durango,

Altima, and then a Sentra. And then I had two motorcycles.

The only ever. OK, so I've only ever lived in

Chicago and Madison and now Nashville.

Obviously I love Nashville the most actually.

And I've only ever driven Toyotas up until I got my Tesla.

My Tesla, I, I was a Toyota guy. I they are fucking reliable.

They're amazing on gas. I've never I've I've never had

any issues with a vehicle because I've only ever driven

Toyota. They are reliable.

So amazing, so amazing. That's our show today.

That's I think that's our show your your favorite non

practicing Mormon and Baptist boy coming to you from the X

Mormon the Bible belt. X Mormon and X Baptist.

I said non practicing but. I I I'm not even non practicing.

I'm an X I'm sorry, I no excommunicated, all right.

Well, I think, I think, sorry, I'm done.

I think most Mormon boys grow up and hate their religion

actually. I'm not surprised, but that's it

for this week, everyone. Everyone, we love you all and we

hope you have a great Sunday. Learn from our mistakes, Tata.

Game Plan