COVID and Superpowers

0:00 Do you? Want me to open it up or do you

0:15 want to start this show this week?

0:16 I mean I feel like for it. How do you start it usually?

0:19 Hello everyone. Welcome to two twangs and a lie.

0:25 I'm Taylor Perry. And I'm Ian Moon.

0:30 Give us a give us a something. Give us a little.

0:33 Something there? I don't know if it'll work here.

0:37 Wait, hold on. Where's the?

0:40 Oh yeah. Are you sure?

0:41 Clapping. There we go.

0:42 That's I found. One and an applause.

0:44 I hope, I hope it. Translates over.

0:47 I do too, but I mean only one way to find out is if it

0:50 actually does. Oh, you had asked me a question,

0:53 right? Literally right before we were

0:55 about to hit record. If I could have a superpower,

0:57 what would it be? But I want to ask you first.

0:59 So I would love to fly. This would be flying I'd.

1:01 Love to fly, I think it'd be the coolest thing.

1:04 See, I don't know if that would be, I don't know if it'd be the

1:06 coolest thing because like kind of like how with motorcycles you

1:09 have to like wear a visor and everything to make sure the wind

1:12 doesn't like, because if you're going super fast, it's like

1:16 you're like squinting because the wind.

1:17 So how can you actually like really see truthfully?

1:19 And then you get all the insects and shit flying in your face

1:22 like so. I don't know if lying is really

1:23 the best one unless you have a helmet.

1:25 You know, I just don't think first of all there, I don't

1:28 think there's that many insects, but when you get really high up

1:32 there. Well, how high are you planning

1:33 on going? Because that's when the air's

1:34 thinnest, too. You've seen the size of my vape.

1:38 Yeah, but that's that's when the fairs thinnest as well.

1:41 Like you're going to like, suffocate eventually.

1:43 No, I I just think that it's the cool, it's the coolest thing to

1:47 like just be able to see things from above, like a bird's eye

1:51 view, but then also to just be in like 2 different, like

1:55 higher, not like two different places, not like teleporting,

1:58 but you can literally travel so much quicker.

2:03 Definitely. So you're just you're getting

2:05 places so much quicker, but then like the view?

2:08 I mean is the some point the view?

2:11 What? What beats a bird's eye view of

2:14 stuff, of nature, especially, I think that I think I'd be,

2:18 that's probably got to be the most precious thing is when you

2:21 just seeing a scenic, you're seeing a scenic view of

2:24 anything, even if it's a city, a suburb.

2:28 I do like the. Mountains.

2:29 It's just anything. I do like.

2:30 I do like specifically the Las Vegas skyline.

2:33 Las Vegas is a good one. I, I, I actually think Nashville

2:37 has a pretty decent skyline when you're like, OK, let's say if I

2:40 take myself out of the city, yes, sure, it's pretty decent.

2:43 Let's say you're going to canvas and you're at that split where

2:47 you're coming into the city and you go, right, because you're

2:49 going. Well, actually at 4, I don't

2:51 know if you're coming from the same way that I would.

2:54 We would. Yeah, we would.

2:56 Off of the 40, right? I don't know numbers.

3:00 That freeway where it like splits off twice.

3:03 They do. They all do that.

3:05 I think that that's what causes Nashville traffic to be so

3:07 brutal. Oh, it's awful.

3:09 It's so much like back and forth, back and forth.

3:13 See, my problem with it is everything so.

3:17 So you're just flying? Yes, I did.

3:20 I would. I would definitely love to fly

3:22 it. Also eliminates traffic too

3:24 flying so that one I will. Get over so much quicker.

3:26 That one I will. I'll give that.

3:28 One to you. Like, I still think that air

3:32 travel might be one of the one of man's greatest creation.

3:36 I mean, think of the engineering, the decades of just

3:38 people pouring their blood, sweat and tears.

3:41 Mainly the Wright brothers. But yeah, it started with them,

3:44 but just so many people after it, like 100 and 10120 years

3:49 ago, like it's so amazing. I mean, if you think about it,

3:53 sure, it is pretty spectacular. And we studied, we probably, I

3:57 mean, I don't know, I'm not an aero scientist, but like we

3:59 probably studied nature for that.

4:01 To a certain extent you have do you have to kind of study

4:04 meteorology for a little bit of it, I feel because of the

4:07 elements and it being in the air climate.

4:13 But anyways. You forgot to put your phone on

4:15 by like silencer. My bad, what is the school?

4:22 Give me your phone this. Is a library.

4:24 Cheating. I don't think you'll get that

4:27 reference, but anyone born in or around 1990.

4:32 Gets that reference. Yes, I do.

4:34 This is a. Library.

4:34 OK, what's it from? It's from Recess the show that

4:37 is super cool. Like grungy like lady.

4:39 Unless the show, the sketch comedy for kids that I was that

4:46 I'm thinking of from Nickelodeon was making fun of that.

4:50 Probably. That could have been it.

4:52 Probably. More than likely.

4:54 But I was referring to Laurie Beth Denberg from All That.

4:57 Oh, I do love all that. Is she remember she came out and

5:00 she did this is a library. Any little thing that they do

5:04 and that she'd yell at you for being.

5:07 I do love that show. That was a good show.

5:10 We should, we should bring it up somewhere.

5:12 They have like all the old shows like Are You Afraid of the Dark?

5:15 I wonder if they have Keen and I've seen Keen and Kel somewhere

5:18 like. Maybe that's everywhere or

5:19 something. That's everywhere.

5:20 Really. Keen and Kel.

5:21 Yeah, that's Keen. Kel, I wonder, I wonder if all

5:23 that's out there. I'm sure it is.

5:25 It was recorded so it has to be on some.

5:26 I've told you I've I've watched. Stuff though from being a kid

5:29 and it doesn't hit. It doesn't hit the same

5:32 sometimes like SpongeBob. No, of course not.

5:34 Definitely doesn't hit the same. Even Stevens, I think I've said

5:37 before that it didn't age well the same either.

5:40 No. Maybe like other shows like Boy

5:42 Meets World and everything are a little bit more tolerable, but

5:45 no, it was a little bit more mature than it was.

5:49 It was a bit more mature, sure, but it wasn't.

5:52 It still hasn't aged well though, I don't think.

5:55 I mean the one thing you never. Watched it.

5:57 I don't know, I never watched that one.

5:58 I mean it got so bad that they had to make another one like

6:00 Girl Meets World and it's not that great either.

6:02 I can only imagine her name was Topanga like it was just such a

6:07 exactly like just the name alone.

6:09 I always, I always would like hear that Dave and think.

6:13 At least you know who their mother was white and on some

6:16 good drugs when they made that name.

6:19 I mean clearly. Is that that's some good

6:21 epidural. I'm like Topanga.

6:23 God, that'd be hysterical. Yeah, that was actually true.

6:26 I was that one with the brothers or one of the brothers that was

6:29 like from Mrs. Doubtfire Lawrence brothers, I think the.

6:32 Lawrence. Brothers the Lawrence One of the

6:34 Lawrence brothers, I think was in that.

6:36 One I don't know mate. I didn't.

6:37 I didn't. Watch it that much.

6:39 The Hot 1 I think was in that I. Don't know mate, I didn't watch

6:41 it that much. It wasn't.

6:42 It didn't last very long. You kind of look Australian.

6:45 I think you can get away with that.

6:47 Did I tell you? OK, so this was when I was

6:49 living with my ex at the time. I was able to convince his

6:51 roommate that I was from Australia for like 3 months,

6:55 three months. I would just anytime she was

6:57 around. I'll snap on the egg.

6:58 St. Mike.

6:59 How's it going, Rocky? But you do.

7:02 You look like an Aussie. Like Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy.

7:06 You've got the eyes, you've got the tall, slender, you've got

7:09 the blonde light hair. It I think that that is kind of

7:12 blue eyes. You blue.

7:13 Eyes, they change color, but yeah, predominantly.

7:15 Blue. I think that that all kind of

7:17 goes with the Aussie, Aussie boy.

7:20 See, thank God you said that because you know, Australia was

7:22 originally like the prison for like Britain or something.

7:25 And so, if you think about it, all fugitives are sexy.

7:27 I, you know, I've actually, that's crossed my mind before.

7:31 I actually have thought that. And one day it was a realization

7:34 of. Man and some.

7:36 Sexy criminals back then. And given the fact of my current

7:39 my my history, criminals are sexy.

7:43 Well, also thank you for that. It confirms the.

7:45 But also when you said that you're Mormon, that made sense

7:48 too because Mormons are cute as well.

7:50 Mormons are good looking. No, whatever you, whatever you

7:52 say, they're all cute. OK, sure, sure.

7:55 OK, So my turn, my answer. Take the question, ask me the

7:59 question. I want you to ask the question.

8:01 My dear, if you could have, if you could have one superpower,

8:08 what would it be? All right, Missus Delphi I.

8:12 Was kind of going for like an eccentric Mcgonagall.

8:17 Good. Try.

8:18 No, Good try. Honestly, I don't know.

8:21 I mean, give me a second. I really should have been

8:23 thinking about that the entire time you were giving your

8:24 answer. Because if you think about it

8:26 like kind of like not, I mean, I don't really see a benefit with

8:30 any kind of path. Well, hold on, maybe.

8:34 Like given my current situation, teleportation would be pretty

8:39 fierce. That is a good one.

8:42 Teleporting would be pretty fierce.

8:43 They talk about getting from one place to another quick.

8:47 Without having air travel, without having the like, just

8:51 taking any travel time out of the equation, like poof, here I

8:54 am, let's go. And then poof the second we're

8:56 done. Like just it's great anywhere I

8:59 want it to be in like 2 seconds. But you don't get a view like

9:02 flying. That's fine, you know, I could

9:04 view, I could transport myself to like.

9:06 I need the view the stratosphere in the world.

9:08 Or the World Trade Center or something.

9:10 Could you imagine the packs I'd have?

9:13 The packs of what the. Packs the packs packs of chest

9:18 if I was if I could fly. Are you using your arms as

9:23 flapping wings or something? Well, what the hell do you think

9:26 you fly with your butt cheeks? I thought you were just like

9:32 levitating. Maybe some bottoms, maybe some

9:34 bottoms. I mean, they have.

9:35 They have saloon. Doors.

9:36 My God, when you said that, I died when you said that.

9:43 I mean they're using those as wings, so might as.

9:44 Well, I had never heard that before you said that the other

9:51 day. And I I almost fell over.

9:54 I'm so glad we got on recording now though.

9:56 Oh my God, is this actually recording?

9:58 Yes, it's still recording. Your other computer kept

10:00 screwing us over. We had to start like 3 times.

10:02 That's why I didn't bring it this time and we're using our

10:03 episode. I know, that's why it's still

10:05 recording. We're at 11 minutes now, but

10:08 yes, it is recording. 11 minutes.

10:10 We stretched out the superpower bit.

10:14 No, that was. That wasn't stretching it out,

10:15 That was just answering. That's true.

10:18 We can really stretch it out. Wink, wink.

10:20 I mean, I could. You could.

10:22 I could. So what did you lie to yourself

10:26 about this week? Right.

10:28 OK. Can you go first?

10:32 I lied to myself that my cats actually like each other.

10:36 I don't think they do. I think they despise each other

10:39 like I've had to grab. In a domestic.

10:41 I've had to. There was a domestic.

10:43 Are they a domestic? They they there wasn't there was

10:45 a domestic this week. I had described the the spray

10:48 bottle. I had to like, yeah, like

10:50 whoopee on the view. I had to like spray the girls

10:52 over here and they were fighting.

10:54 I didn't realize your window was open till just now.

10:56 It's so nice though. It is, I just got the best of

10:59 windows. Oh, window open.

11:01 Cool. That was the spirits telling us

11:03 we're doing a great job, so much better than the measles episode

11:06 that we're never going to air. No, we're not sorry.

11:09 I mean as a blooper real, sure, but not listeners.

11:12 We tried doing a show, went, went, let's see.

11:17 So today's Friday, it was Tuesday.

11:19 We always try to take towards the end of the week so that we

11:21 can be ready to go on Saturday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

11:24 We tried to do an episode on Wednesday, it was Wednesday or

11:27 Tuesday. It was just really bad.

11:28 I blame the time change. I think it was the time change

11:31 on Tuesday, everything was off. Everything was just so off.

11:35 Like the topics weren't flowing together.

11:38 I just kept pissing you off for some reason.

11:42 We will never air that episode. Only as bloopers, but maybe the

11:45 way you pissed me off with your segways was unconscionable.

11:51 It was just the topics though. The topics were not the measles.

11:56 Oh my God. Like I.

11:57 Was what do. What did you lie to yourself

11:58 about? I lied to myself about measles.

12:01 I don't think I don't think I necessarily said that, but it

12:07 was in. Jail there.

12:08 Was something along those lines. It was so bad, guys.

12:12 I think and then we started getting into measles symptoms

12:16 and that was the best part. So this bitch OK?

12:20 I started rolling my eyes. This, this hoe over here, he was

12:23 going going on a branch about measles and I'm just like, OK,

12:26 yeah. Sure.

12:27 He's like the big. It was like the big thing in the

12:29 news. So I thought, OK, well, let's

12:30 report. It Yeah, So he was.

12:31 Like make it, I'll make a show out.

12:32 Of it. So he was.

12:33 So he was like, I'm going and want to do measles.

12:35 And then he started listing the symptoms of the measles.

12:39 And I'm just like sitting. Here girls, red eyes.

12:42 I'm just sitting here like bitch stuffed nose.

12:44 Reaver, I have fever like every. That's every illness amongst

12:47 mankind. Never know.

12:49 I know as. Symptoms for everything as I was

12:51 reading, so that really narrows it down.

12:54 As. If you have a fever, you have

12:55 measles. As I was reading.

12:59 You lose a leg I. Lost complete interest in the

13:02 topic. Complete interest.

13:06 The symptoms. Are like it was bad guys, it was

13:11 so bad measles so you lied about.

13:16 We have moved on from the meetings.

13:18 So you lied about yourself, About my cats?

13:20 I think they're just like, it's just like an old couple arranged

13:24 marriage. Like I don't think they ever

13:26 liked each other in the 1st place.

13:28 They're a domestic. They're a domestic.

13:32 I almost had to make a domestic called the the cops calling.

13:36 I almost had to call in. I almost had to call in a

13:38 domestic that's between these two.

13:40 I mean, hey, but no, they were brawling and I mean like

13:44 something out of a cartoon. Tom and Jerry.

13:46 Where they're like rolling around like fully just like, I

13:51 mean, like, I mean, it was bad. I kind of let it go for a second

13:55 because I'm like, they never do this.

13:56 It can't be that bad. They can't do this for that

13:58 long. After about no 45 seconds I was

14:01 like oh shit, break this up. Bigger than it was they.

14:06 They all have, they both have all their claws.

14:08 I mean, I'm not the kind of they were claws.

14:11 So I mean like they could really do some damage to each other if

14:14 they wanted to. I was like, oh, you guys stop

14:17 that. Stop, stop.

14:18 I'm like spraying them and everything.

14:20 They go to their separate corners and calm down and I'm

14:23 like, all right, let's just let's, let's chill, brush them

14:27 fur. Let's trim some nails.

14:31 Because there was a full weave out on the floor after there.

14:33 Was a whole weave on the floor. It was was not good.

14:37 Did I tell you about the cat I currently live with and it being

14:40 a Foley? Like it could be a professor for

14:45 anatomy and Physiology. You ate, huh?

14:49 So the cat I live with my the dearest grey cat, right?

14:53 Yeah. So she's a murderer, a serial

14:56 killer because, like, my parents, well, my mom first got

14:59 her to, like, kill all the rodents in the house.

15:01 And that was great. Good idea.

15:02 Cool. Right.

15:03 Little did we know that she would.

15:05 She did her job a little too well to the point where she

15:08 hasn't like obviously she has a cat tower and she would

15:12 literally kind of like dissect the animal that she caught.

15:15 Oh my God, and literally layout every single organ in front of

15:19 her cat tower. My gosh, like like it was crazy.

15:22 Like there was this one morning, it was like a gerbil and she had

15:26 his intestines laid out over here, it's stomach over there,

15:30 it's liver in the middle and they're like fur all like just

15:33 on tossed to the side. Like it was a fully like

15:35 displayed anatomy Physiology like project.

15:37 And then like, Oh dear God, like she's just a murderer and she so

15:40 she killed all the critters in the house already.

15:42 So she went extracurricular and started to bring them from

15:45 outside. But she needed extra credit.

15:47 She brought them from outside. So she brought in a mole, a

15:50 rabbit. Mine has done.

15:52 And a frog. A mind has done the mole thing

15:54 too. He's too big and lazy to catch

15:56 anything else. And he gets the poor little,

15:59 like baby moles that pop up out of the ground.

16:01 Yeah. And I had a rabbit like back in

16:03 the day and put the little pellet food droppings would like

16:06 fall on the ground and then they would come up to eat that.

16:10 And then that was that was when he would have pounced.

16:13 And I always felt horrible because they were always like

16:15 little babies. And then they bring them to you

16:17 like, as if it's like a tree. It's like a get out, like a

16:20 prize, like a trophy. It actually I love, I really,

16:23 actually do love cats. I don't know if I could ever go

16:25 back to the dog thing. I really don't I'm way I'm way

16:29 too set in. I OK, on this note, just real

16:32 quick, I want I want to get it. I wanted always want to get into

16:36 a life where like I just don't really have to like have a lot

16:38 of maintenance. Like I don't want to have to

16:41 worry about yard work. I don't want to have to worry

16:43 about like working on a car and changing my own oil and brakes

16:46 or even paying someone to do it or engine work.

16:48 I don't want to do anything. I don't want to have to walk a

16:50 dog because I always lived in like Northern Illinois,

16:53 Wisconsin. It's miserable nine months out

16:56 of the year and cold to walk a dog.

16:58 You know, I just I'm wait, a cat is 0 maidens.

17:01 I mean I. There's some, not mine, but.

17:03 There's some I give them a waterless bath once a month.

17:07 I give them bold. Would you just use like dry

17:09 shampoo? It's like a dry shampoo and

17:11 oatmeal formula kind of like dry shampoo.

17:13 And then I brush them really good and then I trim their like

17:16 the tips of their nails because like I, I don't know why cats do

17:20 that, but I just really hate they don't claw my furniture.

17:22 They don't do anything. He has a cardboard scratch pad

17:25 right behind that little mini wall right there.

17:27 So like I've never hit, but the claws that bug me is when they

17:30 like they're laying on you and then they like they like.

17:33 It's called kneading. Pulse Not even just like the the

17:37 making bread, like yeah, they're kneading, but like when they're

17:40 just like digging their claws into you, like when they're

17:42 squeezing their claws like they're like in their house

17:44 Bunny. It hurts so bad and they get

17:46 some nasty shark nails. Like how annoying in the house

17:50 Bunny when they're trying to like get pooter off of like.

17:52 Marcus Oh my God, yes. Like that is literally my

17:55 Stevie. Because I let him outside, he

17:57 goes outside and he there's woods in the back.

17:59 He loves it back there and I think he must, I don't know,

18:01 sharpen them on the trees or something because it it hurts.

18:04 They're like needles. Come on, Pooter.

18:06 My other one. I loved that movie by the.

18:08 Way it was a good like it was it's still one of my.

18:10 Favorite iconic? Diana Faris is iconic.

18:13 No one plays a dumb blonde like. Better than her?

18:15 Yeah. Even in scary movies she wasn't

18:17 even blonde. Or she was still a dumb blonde.

18:19 It was. Yeah.

18:22 She the first one, Yeah. She had black hair.

18:24 Scary movie success coming out. I know I can't wait on the

18:26 topic. And it's funny, they already

18:28 have already said they're like, we don't care who we offend,

18:30 fuck off. And it's great.

18:32 Thank God. Thank God.

18:34 But you know that Scary Movie is going to put out still good

18:41 humor. Like they're not going, they're

18:43 not going to put out offensive material.

18:46 They're going to put out the typical Scary Movie material.

18:49 And you can choose if you want to be offended or not.

18:52 See that's the thing though, like I saw the trailer for it

18:54 already. Really.

18:55 I haven't seen it yet. I really actually don't want to

18:57 see it. They already offend so many

18:58 people just in the first like like 10 seconds because it's

19:02 like the. But what's offensive, person?

19:05 So the Scream character stabbed someone on a subway and like a

19:09 bystander is like Oh my God he killed her and the person who

19:14 the victim was like I'm they them.

19:16 Oh, OK, so they see that is typical scary movie.

19:21 That is typical scary movie humor on current thing.

19:26 I laughed very hard that are happening.

19:28 Right now, way too hard. At it.

19:29 No, I just. I can't wait.

19:31 I grew up with Scary Movie. I still think that the third one

19:34 was the best, where they made fun of the ring and I believe

19:38 the Nuva ring. I believe it was.

19:42 Oh shit. There was oh, signs, signs.

19:44 It was the ring and signs. Yeah.

19:49 Sorry. You got a date.

19:52 There's someone more important than me.

19:53 No, it's no. I mean the person whose vehicle

19:56 on borrowing. Yeah, but no, you're fine.

19:59 I love, I love that everybody has like a watch now, the Apple

20:01 Watch, because everybody looks like Spy Kids.

20:03 That was a. Great.

20:05 The first three were great and then they tried to do a fourth

20:08 and it didn't work out. I, I was already, I think I

20:10 might have already been a little too old when the second one came

20:13 out. First one, I was excited for.

20:15 The second one I I don't think I ever saw the second one.

20:17 Or second one was good. There's one year that I've been.

20:21 I don't know what year, but I know 2001 two. 1000. 22 seconds.

20:24 Well, I guess. I actually remember the first

20:27 one being a little underwhelming compared to the hype.

20:30 Well, that's because they had to like do they had to build the

20:32 back story. Nickelodeon hyped up a lot of

20:34 movies back then for kids, and then I get to them at that age.

20:38 Sure. But I guess, I guess maybe I was

20:43 at that like. 910 year old by kids.

20:45 The first one came out in 01. The first one, OK, so I would

20:49 have been probably, yeah, just the right age, 1111 years old

20:52 for that one. And then after that, no, I don't

20:55 think I ever saw one after that because then I started watching,

20:58 I think I've said before on the show I started watching like

21:01 Disney after that, the more mature like preteen shows and

21:05 the movies, the Disney movies, those the original movies that

21:09 came on like. Yeah, every Friday.

21:11 Well, during the summer it was every day.

21:15 I know at noon and then Spy Kids two it actually it was only a

21:21 year after like the first one. I still didn't see it.

21:25 So I. Think maybe it did, I don't

21:27 remember. So the first one, did I like the

21:29 first? I'm sorry.

21:29 I like the second one a little bit more because it has Emily

21:33 Osmond in it. I like, OK.

21:35 I think it was. Wait, which one would she have

21:38 been? Emily Osmond.

21:39 Emily Osmond? I know that name.

21:41 I can't. So there was a rival team of Spy

21:43 Kids and she was the sister in that duo.

21:47 OK, wait with the pigtails. I need to, I need to see a

21:49 picture just real quick because, Oh yes, I know her.

21:53 Oh, gosh. And she's often she well,

21:55 because she pops up in a lot of sitcoms.

21:57 Yeah, she's done like 50 now. She.

21:59 Oh, she's done. Like she pops up in all she was

22:01 in Hannah Montana, but mom and one of the most recent one I've

22:05 seen her in with Anna Faris. She was also in Young Young

22:07 Sheldon. Love young.

22:09 Yes, she is. I love Young Sheldon.

22:12 That is her. I totally.

22:13 Yeah, she pops up in everything. But I think.

22:16 OK, so the mom is Carla. Who?

22:22 OK, she's remember who put Carla?

22:23 Is it Carla Junior that plays the mom?

22:27 It's something. The mom is badass.

22:28 Yes, it is her. She is great, I do love her.

22:31 I for some reason I love this bitch.

22:34 She's amazing. Marla Giugino I think maybe?

22:37 Giugino Giugino Italiano. Yeah, Giugino.

22:43 So I love her for some reason. First of all, I think she's

22:45 always been gorgeous. She's just beautiful.

22:47 Dead gorgeous. Very underrated as an actress in

22:51 Hollywood too. I suppose or just her because

22:55 maybe she's just, it's like a side project for her.

22:57 Maybe it's just kind of like what we'll do for fun.

23:00 That's why she's not like, really in the Hollywood that

23:02 much I. Wonder what she does like in her

23:04 in her like as I don't know, I wonder what she does in her

23:06 spare time when she's not acting because she's not really in a

23:09 lot of movies and they're not even big movies, but she's

23:13 pretty famous. I don't know anyways, but I

23:17 think that like. Look up her IMDb real quick just

23:19 to. Make sure.

23:20 Yeah, I think that. I think she's always been like

23:22 my favorite 1. And I actually forgot that that

23:24 was Antonio Banderas in those. He did not age well by the way,

23:27 sadly. It really looks like, however,

23:29 Carla is only 54 years of age. Yeah, and she looks good.

23:36 I didn't know she was known for Broadway.

23:38 That's a new one. Me neither.

23:40 She was also in night at the museum.

23:42 So she I did see this movie Gerald's Game with with her in

23:48 it and I only watched it because.

23:51 It looks sexy. She well it looks sexy and she

23:54 is sexy and and I love her. So I watched it and it was the

23:57 IT was the worst movie. Maybe I'm starting to understand

24:01 why why she stopped doing movies recently.

24:03 Because like, we're crossing her.

24:04 Once like name my pages. She was already getting punch,

24:08 sucker punch. I don't remember Sucker.

24:09 Punch As odd and weird as Sucker Punch was, I actually really

24:12 enjoyed the film. I really excuse me while I slurp

24:17 my wine. She Yeah.

24:21 Oh, she was in the haunting. Oh, the haunting of Hill House.

24:24 The haunt. She was the one telling the

24:26 stats. Where I've seen her too.

24:28 OK, OK, Night at the museum, she was in that.

24:30 Race Witch mountain spike it's 3 she was she done in a few things

24:36 actually, Man of Steel. This Gerald's Game, that was a

24:38 that was kind of a silly movie because the have you seen it?

24:42 No. OK, well, they're playing like

24:44 sexy time and he ties, he ties her up.

24:47 Does he forget about her? No, he dies and has a heart

24:50 attack and she can't get up and help him.

24:51 So the whole movie is her. I think it was like.

24:54 Trying to escape from these Cubs, think.

24:55 She's in a haunted house. That or she starts hallucinating

25:00 or something like. That is she a schizo?

25:03 No, I think she was normal, but she's stuck there for like days.

25:06 Speaking of stuck to the bed. Speaking of what?

25:09 So I met Someone Like You, just like, what was it last night or

25:12 the night before? And he had he was showing me

25:16 about this one medium in Hollywood, the blonde Gay, 1, he

25:21 said. The medium who talks to like

25:22 that ghosts and spirits and everything for celebrities.

25:26 Stop ringing a bell. Excuse me, Let me roll my eyes

25:28 for a second. OK, yeah, so he was showing me

25:30 those videos of this little twink kid.

25:32 I swear he could be Mormon. He looks like it.

25:35 And one of the one of the families had him come over and

25:43 the spirit who was coming through to him, oh, God, was

25:47 apparently in when she was alive, was a schizophrenic.

25:52 OK. And that made me kind of like,

25:55 OK, so if there's schizo in like real life, does that mean

25:58 they're still like, scatterbrained in the afterlife?

26:00 So how do we know it's really them?

26:04 Like you know what? I mean, because like if there's

26:07 if they're like institutionalized like majority

26:09 of their life for schizophrenia and like all those other like

26:12 mental illnesses, like what about when they're dead?

26:14 Like do they still have those elements or are they like cured

26:18 when they're dead? I mean, they're dead, so I don't

26:20 know if they're obviously cured, but like, I don't know.

26:22 I don't know anything about the afterlife.

26:23 I don't know because I'm. Haven't.

26:25 I don't want to know yet. I haven't lived way too much

26:27 time. I haven't lived it yet, so, but

26:30 you know, tomorrow is never granted.

26:33 Tomorrow's never guaranteed. Don't take it for granted.

26:37 What was it? If you live in the past, you'll

26:38 be depressed. If you live in the future,

26:40 you'll live with anxiety. But if you live in today.

26:41 Will be at peace. See that?

26:44 The one I heard was May you always be single.

26:48 See double and drink triple. Amen.

26:53 I need a refill and cheers. I need a refill one second while

26:58 I get the well, the big while I get the bus.

27:00 Well, for a political corner, it's going to be kind of a lame

27:03 one. I mean, I really don't think the

27:05 listeners want to hear about too much about, I don't know,

27:08 another freaking shooting in this country that we have to do.

27:11 Our school shooting, no less. We've got the Virginia shooting,

27:15 which is obviously horrendous and terrible.

27:18 I believe that one actually was a terrorist attack too, because

27:20 he yelled something, Allah, if I was, if I remember correctly.

27:24 So we've got that going on. We've got the war in Iran.

27:28 We've got 160 dead girls that the government, our government

27:32 has finally, I believe, claimed responsibility for, for hitting

27:36 a girls school in Iran. That's horrendous.

27:39 I mean, it is actually, I think one of the biggest military

27:43 mistake in decades that we've ever had.

27:46 Like, you mean, well, just biggest mistake that our

27:50 government has made. They were going, they were going

27:52 off of old Google Maps that showed that being an old

27:56 headquarters. Which is kind of ironically

27:58 funny because Iran has been teaming up with Russia to find

28:01 out where some of our like major.

28:03 And then that's happening. Pinpoints are like.

28:05 Yeah, that's, I mean, I don't think everyone wants to keep

28:10 hearing about the Iran war until.

28:12 No, because I mean I already. We already reported on it once

28:16 we've got oh, so then so we've got the we did get we.

28:19 Did do ASMR for a second. We'll do what ASMR?

28:24 What ASMR Like the whispering shit like people whisper and

28:30 they're like a microphone are like?

28:31 So tell me about your secrets. Do you have any idea how hard

28:34 that is for me to? Whisper.

28:35 Yes, I know, you yell. It's so hard.

28:38 You yell, you can't whisper. I was trying to do ASMR with me

28:41 pouring of the wine and it wasn't really working.

28:42 I. Don't think we should do that

28:43 because then like the mics might not pick it up.

28:46 I mean, we tried them and if we failed then we failed.

28:51 So one quick wrap up of the political corner is we also did

28:55 have a we had no fatalities or casualties, I believe is what

29:00 the news was reporting on the recent car ramming at a

29:03 synagogue in Michigan. Surprisingly, everyone was

29:06 actually safe. A car ramming a car.

29:08 Ramming, I believe they even said it ran, it went like into

29:11 the hallways of the synagogue up in Michigan.

29:14 But this could have been, if that guy would have been

29:17 successful at this, it could have been 10 * 10 times worse

29:21 than Sandy Hook because where he he was near 100, like 160

29:25 children or 150 children, something like that.

29:28 Like there was dozens and dozens and dozens of children there.

29:32 So that's my my political update.

29:35 That's your corner? Yeah, Harry's PC.

29:38 Political corner. I was going to say pesky

29:41 politics. And then and then like when we

29:43 get to that segment, you can like look over and be like,

29:45 Taylor, it's time to show us your PP No PP pesky politics,

29:53 no. No.

29:56 Damn it, we could have made like a little button like like, whoa,

30:00 show us your pee. Pee.

30:01 I don't know if we could do that, but we do.

30:03 We do have this one the equivalent of our crickets.

30:09 I do. Still like that as crickets.

30:12 Though it does work. Actually, it works pretty well

30:14 for it. So your political corners done

30:16 and over with you, yeah. I think we're good.

30:18 I think I've got everybody updated.

30:21 That's so that's. Pretty much all that's pretty

30:23 much all that happened, just a bunch of horrendous stuff that,

30:25 well, I feel the need to keep everybody updated on.

30:29 But. What?

30:31 What topic did you want to dive into today?

30:34 So I was going to try to see if we could recover from Tuesday.

30:38 And at least yes. And recover somewhat of it and.

30:41 This has already been so much better than.

30:43 Oh, definitely, and and I. Don't know what was wrong.

30:47 We were talking about measles, that's what was.

30:48 Wrong it was I just well, because we we wanted to make

30:51 touch on reflect on like the pandemic and how that's

30:54 different from everything everything.

30:56 Well, I mean it's all sickening sickness yes, it's all diseases,

31:01 yes, Gaga and that was you know, something like we could tie

31:04 into, but it just wasn't working.

31:07 It was nothing was. Working it was tickling sisters.

31:10 Oh my God, Oh my God, I love her.

31:11 Love that movie. So what I was going to try to

31:14 revive? What did you want to revive?

31:17 Let's go for it was COVID and how it fucked up political and

31:20 not political, but how it fucked up customer service and how the

31:23 world's. It's horrendous.

31:25 Actually, it really is and I have seen it from a couple

31:30 different perspectives actually. I'll let you take it first and

31:32 then I'll respond to that. OK, so I was OK.

31:37 I was never really fazed by it from the beginning, honestly,

31:40 like, oh, pandemic, COVID, new illnesses around.

31:44 I was like, OK, cool, yeah, whatever.

31:48 It finally like hit me that it was like a bigger deal than what

31:51 I was thinking It was. It was when I had to wait

31:53 outside a grocery store and there were literally taped like

31:57 tape on like 6 feet apart. Like tape lines on where you

32:01 were able to stand from behind the knife.

32:04 I remember that a. Few times, yeah.

32:06 Good God and only like 3 people were allowed in the like store

32:08 the entire time. Bitch no.

32:11 I switched to HelloFresh. That's what most people.

32:13 Did I switched to HelloFresh? I found out that I like I get a

32:16 little discount through my work and everything that like

32:18 basically that like basically pays for shipping at least.

32:21 Tax free or just shipping? What does it do?

32:23 Taxes too Or is it just shipping?

32:25 It's just a flat about 15% rate, but it usually takes off.

32:29 It usually offsets the shipping. I don't know about taxes.

32:32 Wisconsin tappet taxes wasn't that bad.

32:34 So yeah, no, that's when I kind of was like, OK, no, this is

32:38 kind of like extreme. However, when I did get COVID,

32:42 it was like a year later. It was like July 2021.

32:45 No, yeah, July 2021 was when I actually got it.

32:48 It was just like any other illness that I've ever gotten.

32:50 I just knocked me on my butt for two days and I was fine right

32:53 after. Did you have a really bad stuffy

32:55 nose? Not that I can recall cuz.

32:58 That was my experience with it. Well, I mean, So what was what's

33:02 wild to me is that like congestion is usually a common

33:04 side effect of multiple illnesses, right?

33:06 COVID being one of them. And when you're congested, you

33:10 lose the ability to taste. You lose the sense of like

33:13 tasting because why you're congested, because it tastes.

33:16 The smell go hand in hand somehow.

33:17 And so when they were saying like, if you can't taste peanut

33:19 butter, you have COVID. And I was like, bitch, that

33:21 could be anyone who's congested. So that whole peanut butter test

33:24 was. Like I think if you would have,

33:26 I think if you just if you had congestion around that time, you

33:28 probably had COVID 1000%. I think that's just kind of the

33:31 where we were at that point. Yeah, it was kind of that part.

33:35 That theory was kind of like a so stupid.

33:37 And in the same vein of that, I actually like upgraded the week

33:42 before to a duck all around. What the fuck me?

33:46 A meal kit. Like just a really like fancy

33:48 meal kit. So now you get.

33:50 With HelloFresh I wanted duck breast.

33:52 I love duck breast. Not whole duck duck.

33:54 It's kind of weird to eat like a whole duck, but like.

33:57 Do you know about the genitalia just.

33:59 Can can I? Can I?

34:01 No. I want to talk about eating the

34:03 little buzzards. Just saying their.

34:07 Dicks are wild, OK? Their Dicks are wild, man.

34:12 Save that for the only fans. Not with ducks.

34:14 Not doing shit with a duck. Yeah, OK.

34:17 Don't save it. No.

34:19 Anyways, like the week before. If you're curious you could

34:22 Google it yourself. It is wild I.

34:25 You know, I've seen an orca penis before on the Internet.

34:29 Yeah, no, look up a duck Dick. Oh, that's what we're going to

34:33 title the episode. Duck, Dick and COVID.

34:36 Duck Dick and COVID. We went from Britney in music.

34:40 To Dick Dick, Dick Dick Dick Tobin.

34:42 I mean, it is really wild though, because it's what they

34:44 call this. It's a Corkscrew penis is what

34:46 they're referred to as. It is wild.

34:49 So anyways, my meal kit catastrophe you'll get I

34:55 upgraded to Corkscrew all Raj. That's hysterical.

35:00 That's. Funny and I and I got COVID 3

35:04 days before and couldn't taste anything but you have to cook

35:07 these meal kits like pretty much almost like right away pretty

35:11 quick otherwise they go bad. So I did I paid extra for my

35:15 Corkscrew while around meal kit and I didn't get to taste any of

35:23 it. Which, based on what you're

35:24 telling me, that was a good thing?

35:29 I mean, I don't know, duck actually does does taste pretty.

35:32 That's delicious if it's prepared correctly.

35:36 And then there's been times where I actually ordered duck

35:38 thinking it was just going to be like a nice duck breast.

35:40 And then I actually. The whole duck.

35:42 And I get the whole duck and I'm like, Oh no, this is so not what

35:46 I wanted. This sport.

35:49 It's different when you get the whole duck from when you just

35:51 get duck breast. Because now I feel bad.

35:54 Now I have a whole fucking duck in front of me and I love ducks.

35:57 Was it already like, was it already like that they already

36:00 removed the organs or was it still all in there?

36:01 No. It was like a baked like as if

36:04 you would get like a Turkey for Thanksgiving.

36:07 Oh, it was OK, Got it. Like it was kind of like that.

36:09 It was a whole duck though it. Reminds me of the Christmas

36:11 story. Or maybe it was 1/2.

36:12 Either way it was like still like full bodied.

36:15 It reminds me of this Christmas story when they go to the

36:17 restaurant and they have to eat like a full ghee and the head

36:20 still attached to it. I've never seen that movie.

36:24 It's on literally every year nonstop.

36:26 I could literally see you like starring in that movie though if

36:29 you were like a little kid and you just look like a kid that

36:32 would be in that movie like a 1950s like cute little 50s boy.

36:36 I didn't take place in the. 50s I don't think so.

36:39 It's yeah, 50. I think it's in the 50s.

36:42 I think the movie was definitely takes place.

36:44 In 83, not 50. No, it was in the 80s that they

36:48 it came out, but I think that the movie takes place in the

36:52 50s. It's an old movie.

36:55 It was, you know, and the leg, the leg, the leg, the lamp.

36:59 The leg lamp is that that's from that movie too.

37:02 I thought there was just a bunch of horny people in the world

37:04 with that leg, with the leg lamp.

37:06 I had no idea that had, and I think I had not anything to do

37:10 with that movie. A leg?

37:12 No idea the leg. The leg.

37:14 What is the story behind the leg?

37:16 Lamp, he won the he won the lamp and like some raffle at work and

37:21 it was like a like a surprise prize.

37:23 Like they never they no one knew what the prize was going to be

37:25 at work. So he put in a raffle for it and

37:27 he just happened to win. And it was delivered during

37:29 dinner time. So it's like a huge giant, like

37:30 wooden crate box that was delivered in.

37:33 And so they're like trying to fish through all the like the

37:36 Styrofoam pellets. And he pulls it out.

37:38 He's like, yeah, I'm like getting all into.

37:41 It yeah, I never. Saw it and he puts it in the

37:43 front. Window of his house, right?

37:45 That's why Pete, that's why I've seen people with it in the

37:47 front. Window of their house, the front

37:49 window of his house. And then the wife gets like so

37:51 jealous of it that she accidentally air quotes,

37:54 accidentally breaks it and then he like accuses her of being

37:57 jealous and everything. It is so funny and wild.

38:00 However, I was pulling up Christmas Story but to show you

38:02 the main character because it's a little sad but.

38:06 The little boy is like super hot now.

38:08 Me as a child that do, we do bear similarities.

38:11 You totally could look like you could *.

38:13 Out here we do bear similarities and he's.

38:15 Really hot now, if you look, if you look at a picture of him

38:18 now, yeah, I. Don't want to?

38:20 He's really, he looks, he kind of looks like that, but just

38:23 like daddy version. Daddy version of a toddler.

38:26 Of well. I mean.

38:28 Well, now you're now you're making it sound weird.

38:31 I'm saying he still looks the same from when he was a kid, but

38:33 just like the daddy version. He's just like daddy though, but

38:37 like his face still kind of looks the same.

38:40 His eyes like his dad is dad ified Dad ified.

38:44 But anyways, so COVID though what is like what?

38:49 Though COVID. What was your rant?

38:51 What what did you what? What's your beef with COVID that

38:54 you still need to just get off your chest?

38:56 Just RIP it off. OK, there's a few things

38:58 actually. No.

38:59 So the first one of the time. First one is the masks.

39:03 Were you for or against? I'm scared to ask.

39:08 It's OK, Sarah, I. And then I and then I have a

39:11 response to that as soon as you're done because I have two,

39:13 two different views on the mask as well.

39:15 So go OK. So I was anti mask.

39:20 I hated masks. I hated it.

39:21 I hated it. I hated it.

39:22 I hated. It was this before you

39:24 understood the seriousness of COVID though.

39:26 Both and then after and then but like both.

39:30 I hated it before and I hated it after.

39:31 But OK, but like there was a bait.

39:34 Well, you kind of. Well, I don't know how serious

39:37 it was down here, because Ellen I.

39:38 Wasn't in Tennessee when it happened.

39:39 When were you? Where were you?

39:41 Was I? I was in Texas.

39:42 You were in Texas. I was in Texas when and they

39:44 didn't give a shit. No, they gave up too much of A

39:46 shit. Oh, they did like Texas.

39:48 I'm surprised. Yeah, no, OK, it's.

39:50 Because you were in the city. San Antonio and it's.

39:53 Probably because you were in the city.

39:54 Yeah, it was terrible. Anyways, so Mass.

39:56 I hated it. I hated it.

39:57 I hate it. I hate it.

39:58 I hated it. You OK?

39:59 And so at the time I worked out to paddle.

40:04 To paddle. To paddle, and I'm so sorry, but

40:06 since when is fast food considered an essential worker?

40:11 I think it's just people got to eat.

40:13 They got to eat, but guess what? That you could cook at home.

40:16 Yeah. If they're so worried about

40:17 getting this illness that's going around, why are you going

40:19 to go out to fucking Chipotle? I'm afraid some people would

40:21 starve if they only had to cook at home.

40:24 I mean or if or if the processed foods ran out at the store.

40:28 That solves so many problems though.

40:30 Overpopulation. I agree it solves it right then

40:33 there I. Don't.

40:34 Know it solves it so much like it resolves so many issues the

40:38 world is having. Like natural selection, huh?

40:41 Naturally Natural selection? Naturally.

40:43 How Republican of you? I know, I'm sorry.

40:47 So my view on the mask was I always kind of understood the

40:50 importance of. I always understood the

40:52 importance of it. I honestly I never really cared

40:57 because I thought guys kind of look sexier in a mask, like when

41:00 you're just looking at. Their eyes, you couldn't see 65%

41:03 of their face. Well, and then they like, and

41:05 then there was like a surprise, like some people like I've only

41:08 ever seen you in a mask like all year.

41:10 And then it's like they lower, then they take their mask off

41:12 and it's like, wow, it's like it's almost like seeing them

41:14 naked. Hey, it was like it was almost,

41:16 it was the weirdest thing, but. 65 Hiding 65% of your face

41:20 actually does a lot. It's kind of sexy to just look

41:22 at someone in the eyes. That's my point.

41:24 It's it's kind of sexy to look someone in the eyes.

41:26 You don't really look at someone in the eyes until that's all

41:29 there is to look at. So then there's that.

41:31 Now look. At their eyebrows.

41:32 Well, yeah, you could, but that's the that's all you can

41:38 see when and hairline their faces is covered up.

41:41 So their hairline I'm looking at eyes for God's sakes.

41:45 Let's move on anyways. Or their masks.

41:48 My second thing as I hated my mask.

41:52 I hated it because I didn't. What was it?

41:54 Was it just like the medical like regular medical like

41:56 surgical mask or was it like. Any of them.

41:58 Fabric one. They go to any store.

42:00 Any of them, and I'm only going to say.

42:02 So you hated them too? I.

42:03 Hated it only because I didn't get my lasik until summer of

42:08 2021 and this was a big reason. How blind were you?

42:13 Like super blind, like I could barely see my my hand in front

42:16 of my face. So if you looked at yourself in

42:18 a reflection in a in a bathroom. I would have to literally stand

42:20 like 6 inches away from the mirror and to be even.

42:23 Be so you would lean in like you'd have to lean into it, and

42:26 I was. So blind -7 if any of the

42:29 listeners out there know how blind that is, that's very

42:32 blind. That was a -7 my, I could

42:34 couldn't order just like regular glasses.

42:36 They're like you have to upgrade to like the ultra thin premium

42:39 lenses because we can't make your prescription in the

42:42 regular. Because you were literally.

42:44 You were literally like 2-2 decimals away from being legally

42:46 blind. I was pretty blind I it would

42:48 have been very. I wonder if legally blind is

42:50 considered like if you can't drive without contacts or

42:54 glasses? Legally blind is what you were.

42:56 You said you were -7 negative 7. They're -5 anything like sci-fi

43:01 was like, no, wait, negative. I've always was.

43:02 Either -9 or -10 I've. Always wondered if I was like

43:05 considered legally blind because I can't.

43:06 It would have been illegal in the state of Illinois for me to

43:09 drive without any contacts or glasses.

43:10 Yeah, I think it's like negative and I would 10 never even.

43:14 Attempt to drive without contacts or glasses. -9 or 10

43:19 is, I think, legally blind. So I, well, I'm which is so

43:24 unfortunate, far off, but I hated my mask because anyone

43:29 that had a mask and wore glasses knows the pain, the fogging,

43:33 it's horrible. The fogging the.

43:36 Fogging is so bad when you have glasses like to the point like

43:41 you just you really can't do anything.

43:42 You have to lower your mask, do you?

43:44 Want to know what you want to do there then?

43:45 And then in cold weather do. You want to know what you do

43:47 there? Then what?

43:49 Gas mask? Just straight gas mask.

43:54 I just chose LASIK. Just gas mask, full gas mask

43:57 fully like fully covered nose like suction.

44:00 I think there's like memes of people wearing shit like that,

44:03 like during the pandemic. You know, there's memes.

44:05 There's memes of people wearing a tampon in public, like, yeah,

44:09 like pads. Not yeah, whatever it was.

44:11 I know. We're not the experts.

44:13 Fully wearing like women's hygienic products for a mask.

44:17 The the and the gobble was insane.

44:20 That was a funny 1. It was insane.

44:22 Oh my God. But the one thing that I think

44:26 we can both agree on? Never.

44:28 Masks. Fully recover, OK.

44:31 Well, two things. The.

44:32 One the one thing that I think we can both fully agree on

44:35 though, that customer service never really recovered.

44:38 And no one, nothing ever recovered, really.

44:40 And I think nothing. I think it was a timing thing

44:43 though with the customer service cause I've noticed it too.

44:46 Customer service is horrendous everywhere.

44:48 Gone, gone the Ediths and Lucille.

44:52 'S are these your? Grandparents, No.

44:54 Gone are the Nancy's and the Ethel's.

44:57 These are grandma names and in well, but that's my point.

44:59 Gone are the grandmas and grandpas, and in are the

45:02 Courtneys and Jessica's and Amanda's.

45:05 They've all because there's so many people retired around that

45:08 time. So and you just had a whole new

45:11 wave of people everywhere. Everywhere.

45:15 Yeah. So there was that that.

45:17 But then there's also, I think like automation and just AI in

45:21 general. I think that a lot of lower

45:22 level stuff is all automated now.

45:26 I think that's a big one. I think it was a timing thing

45:28 with that. The timing, OK.

45:30 So with COVID, timing was a contributing factor because that

45:33 was kind of like the dawning of a new era called AI.

45:37 And so AI did kind of like everything went a lot, I think,

45:41 I think and I think I would go as far as to say companies

45:44 probably pushed harder for AI because they're because they

45:47 didn't have workers, everyone retired, there wasn't a lot of

45:51 blood coming in, at least in my industry.

45:53 No, never. Because like and in customer we

45:55 have like 10 minutes left 15. So in my industry working in

45:59 customer service, like they were fully getting like kiosks like

46:03 how you they have today obviously like kiosks at

46:04 McDonald's, so they don't have to hire a front counter person

46:07 or so they don't have to hire like a Hostess.

46:10 And that soon is going to be all automated, which the burgers are

46:13 going to be flipped by a robotic.

46:15 Arm they're not even flipped by a human right now.

46:17 Well, that's not OK. We'll.

46:18 Cut through a giant glass grill and they.

46:20 They're going to, it's all going to be eliminated to about one or

46:23 two people running that whole automated.

46:26 They kind of already are. They kind of already are.

46:28 Now I still see a good amount of people back.

46:30 No more than like 6. That's probably, it's probably

46:34 about the right amount. I mean imagine how imagine

46:36 probably what it was though 25 years ago though.

46:39 Like 1020. So they've already cut it back.

46:42 But The thing is now, so for like my industry, I don't mean

46:46 to like bore you with like a bunch of insurance stuff, but

46:48 like you, you get an audit at the end of the term.

46:51 You don't do the audit, you just don't do it.

46:53 And then they kind of charge you a non compliance fee and it's

46:58 astronomical. That's automated.

47:00 That's automatically put on the account and the billing system

47:03 automatically picks that up and goes to your automated payment.

47:07 So like I've had to go through. So this was like the first time

47:11 that I've ever had to experience just like complete automation in

47:15 some process in, in, in a process.

47:18 And yeah, that was kind of the first time.

47:21 Usually it was all, it was all people handling that.

47:23 But during, yeah, during the pandemic, that was just an audit

47:26 process that was all automated and it turned into my client

47:30 getting wrongfully billed for $30,000.

47:33 But I didn't think you were that much older than me I'm talking

47:38 about. Probably having something

47:39 automated. I didn't know you were that much

47:40 older than me. I think you were only like 5

47:43 years. Why are you coming for me?

47:45 Why are you coming for me today? I'm not.

47:46 This was supposed to be the good.

47:47 This was supposed to be the good night.

47:49 I'm not. Supposed to be the good.

47:50 Request. It was a serious question.

47:51 I'm like, I didn't know you're that much older than me.

47:52 It's like so like. I think you're being sassy.

47:55 Am I? I think you're.

47:56 Being a little sassy about my age, am I?

47:58 No, no, I really no. But I was kind of like, I was

48:01 kind of joking, but also kind of serious at the same time.

48:03 It was both. It was just.

48:05 Very. It was both.

48:06 It was just I yeah, it was all very automated.

48:09 It was all very just. Like I thought so.

48:11 And that was your first? Introduction to it, No, Well,

48:14 the automation, it was my OK, No, it was my first instruction.

48:17 I'm not saying this right. OK, so it was just the first

48:19 realization I guess is what I'm trying to say, where there was

48:24 no human handling the entire process and $30,000 was

48:29 wrongfully taken from a client. So who do you think gets

48:31 screamed at this guy right here? The one who's in front of the

48:34 client. Yeah.

48:35 So who do you think it's so? And then it was just, it was

48:39 just a realization I guess is what I'm getting at mostly for

48:41 that. But I've also noticed like just

48:45 at the bank over here, like I opened an account, I didn't see

48:48 that they were offering $400 to open an account.

48:51 So I was like, well, can you buy this?

48:52 Like I know I already opened the account, but it's still during

48:55 the period. I'm still during the right

48:58 period to get it done and I want my 400 bucks bitch, that's not

49:03 even yours. And I what the four?

49:05 $100 isn't even yours, they were offering it as a promo.

49:08 Yeah, but I opened the account during the right like period,

49:12 time, time frame and I didn't just didn't know about the

49:15 coupon. So I was like, well, here's the

49:17 coupon I have now. Can you just apply it to my

49:19 account? Had they and they, they could

49:22 have cared less, honestly. So they said no.

49:25 No, yeah, they could have cared less.

49:26 They could have gave a rat's ass if, well, it's a bank.

49:30 I was just like. It's a bank.

49:32 Like, you know that meme of Pikachu where he's just like,

49:35 mouth open? I would say more, I was thinking

49:37 more Virginia George when the one lady says maybe you could

49:40 try Ross. Boo, you whore, that should have

49:43 been my response. No, not even like just.

49:46 Boo, you whore. Just like them like thinking

49:48 like their customer at a shop called sizes 1/3 and five where

49:53 they only sell one, three and five.

49:54 And then she was like, do you have this in a size up?

49:56 She's like, no, sorry, we only sell the sizes of 1/3 and five.

49:58 Try Ross. But it was.

49:59 And then Regina Georges is like. I know I've seen Mean Girls.

50:02 Yeah. So I think that would be your

50:04 face. Well, I just I just the guy that

50:06 helping me, he couldn't have sounded like he cared any less.

50:10 He probably didn't. It really didn't care.

50:12 No one cares. It just really.

50:14 But this is just one small example that I have noticed

50:17 where this customer service is just gone.

50:20 No one cares about keeping a client anymore.

50:23 No one cares about anyone's feelings anymore.

50:25 It's it's everywhere. OK so this is the thing that

50:27 I've noticed. Like with customer service, no

50:29 one cares about anyone's feelings anymore.

50:31 However, they care when it offends someone.

50:34 Whenever someone's offended, that's when society actually

50:37 cares. Bitch, where were you 2 seconds

50:39 ago when you said no to the $400.00 on my account?

50:42 Now you care about my pronouns which makes no sense to me.

50:45 Like why do you have to? Like caring should be universal

50:49 all the way around. Granted I get it, some people

50:51 have bad days but like. That's why I tried listen to

50:54 never take out a server or bartender's tip on if they're

50:58 maybe a little grumpy or just or responsive or just not included

51:03 to bartender or anything they. Just could have had a bad day.

51:06 Maybe the grandma died, who knows?

51:07 And and a server has to go to work like it doesn't matter what

51:11 happens. Too, Because they're like

51:13 reliant on that to be. Really bad for them to not go to

51:16 work. And so they they go to work.

51:17 They go to work sick, they go to work when someone died, they go

51:20 to work when they know they're missing their, I don't know,

51:23 their 80 year olds grandma's birthday.

51:25 They have to go to work when the dog dies.

51:27 No, it's horrible. I've done it for way too long.

51:29 Yeah, no mean, yeah, no, I still, I'm so sad, but I'm

51:35 honestly like about to swallow my pride and about to start

51:38 appointment at those places. Again, is that all you swallowed

51:40 today? Right now.

51:41 Yeah, well, I haven't even swallowed that yet, so no

51:45 swallowing. You are a top.

51:46 I don't swallow. I don't even put anything in my

51:48 mouth. No, sorry.

51:50 No. No, sorry, dog Total.

51:52 Top Very rare. Like total top, I mean, OK, so

51:57 confession since it's about confession time we are.

52:00 Kind of we are kind of running out of time.

52:02 Here we are. We only got like 6 minutes left.

52:05 So confession, you know when I say like no, I'm a strict top.

52:10 Like everyone's like really? Have you even tried it?

52:12 Like how do you know you don't like it?

52:14 I was like, oh trust me, I've tried it.

52:16 I've tried it and it's not my shows.

52:18 It's not my thing. I've tried it, trust me, more

52:20 than once too. So the like it's not, it wasn't

52:23 just my chance that one time I hated it.

52:24 No, it's been consistent across the board every time that I

52:27 have. It's not great for me.

52:30 I don't know if I don't know what's going on for everyone.

52:32 No, it's not. I mean, granted, I do get like I

52:36 do have somewhat of a bubbly personality, very animated.

52:39 So people do confuse me for being a bottom sometimes a lot

52:42 of the time. But no, it's usually to their

52:44 surprise that I'm like strict top.

52:47 Very strict, very strict. Well, I just kind of think that

52:50 everybody's so versed nowadays, honestly.

52:53 There's no such thing as a purity.

52:54 Everyone just seems like they're versed and then but then that

52:57 always translates to verse bottom almost always.

53:00 I mean they say that. I mean it works out for me.

53:02 Verse verse bottom, bottom first top it all means.

53:07 Bottom It works out for me, but no one else really.

53:11 I mean, as long as they get pleasure from it, I'm cool.

53:14 I don't care. Did you do your two truths in a

53:17 line I? Did I?

53:19 Did I have it? Let's see if I have it right.

53:21 Hopefully this on board works for this.

53:25 I hope it's working. So that was a little.

53:28 And it kind of will segue into like our next episode.

53:32 What is it? OK, a little bit.

53:34 Wait, what do you want to have we even decided what the next

53:36 episode is going to be? Well, maybe.

53:39 An episode in the future. Would you like it to be?

53:42 It would be an episode in the future.

53:44 What was the topic of this future episode?

53:48 Some horrible situations that we've had to go through.

53:52 Oh, the depressing 1, the depressing episode.

53:54 Sure. If we make that the next

53:56 episode, because this kind of ties into it, we can make it OK.

53:59 We can make it the next episode. Why not?

54:01 So I have been through a divorce which I will eventually talk to

54:04 talk about. Come to you.

54:05 Stay tuned. Next week stay tuned DBD.

54:11 But no. So I actually have a 2 truce in

54:15 a lie that kind of goes off of that.

54:16 OK, cool. Great shoot.

54:18 So the first, the first one is my only trip with my ex-husband

54:23 was in Gatlinburg, right here in Tennessee.

54:26 That's so grim. Keep going.

54:31 I there may have been actually a cat that we bought that may have

54:37 we drove a wedge between us. I believe that one too.

54:42 And we had to say goodbye to our beautiful condo on Michigan Ave.

54:46 OK, so all three kind of sound true.

54:48 However, I do want to think, I do think that the condo 1 is a

54:51 lie. The third one is a lie because

54:53 you probably did have a condo together but it wasn't on 3rd

54:55 Ave. or whatever St. you said. Michigan Ave. you got to know.

54:59 You got to know you're Chicago. Yeah.

55:01 So I want to say that was the lies and I want to say you guys

55:03 did have a condo that you had to sell, but it wasn't on that

55:05 street. I make this way too easy for

55:08 you, right? Was I right?

55:09 I need to start making this harder.

55:10 Because I right? I think you kind of know me

55:12 better than I thought. Was I right?

55:14 Yes, that one is the lie. We had a condo, but it was

55:17 certainly not on Michigan. So the only trip you went on

55:19 with your husband at the time was to Gallinburg?

55:22 During COVID. That's even worse.

55:25 We did go to California Universal Studios, LA, the whole

55:30 yeah, Southern California. So that one's a lie then, too.

55:33 No, that was years and years and years before COVID happened.

55:37 Oh, so you're specifically saying I was specifically?

55:40 Saying because we were talking about COVID, yeah, for that like

55:42 that like 2 years, the COVID timeframe, the only trip that we

55:46 went did I say during COVID? No, I think I said during.

55:49 No, you did not. I meant to say during COVID, OK.

55:52 Don't creep me, I still got it right.

55:54 But still the right no, we the only place we went was

55:58 Gatlinburg. That was the only place we went.

56:00 So you guys did have a condo? Where was it at?

56:03 That was in Lakeview in Boys Town.

56:05 OK, cute. And the cat that got between you

56:07 was Stevie. No, it was not Stevie.

56:09 Stevie came. Stevie came.

56:12 When did a little Stevie? I think like a year later, I

56:15 think I got Stevie. So which cat drove the Wedge?

56:18 So we actually had. And does he have it today or did

56:22 it die? We actually, I'm sure he still

56:23 has it. We don't keep in contact.

56:24 It was a very bitter divorce, but it was a like a breeder cat

56:28 that we got from a breeder out in Michigan and it's not, it

56:31 wasn't a oh, what are those wild hybrid cats called that start

56:35 with AB, not a Savannah cat, not a what's the name of them?

56:39 I don't know, I'm looking it up. Look it up.

56:41 Look it up real quick. Oh my God, it's killing me.

56:43 Anyways, it was at the full domestic cat.

56:45 It just looked like a wild cat. Oh, can't remember those things.

56:49 I think it starts with AB, if I remember right.

56:51 Bengal. It was a Bengal.

56:53 It wasn't. It wasn't a Bengal, but I'm

56:55 talking about the Bengals. So my cat was called an ASA cat,

57:00 and it's a mix between an Abyssinian and a Siamese.

57:04 And I actually got a second job during COVID just serving tables

57:09 at some place that was like barely open, just so I could pay

57:11 for that cat. And the only thing that's

57:14 showing up is bobcat that starts with AB.

57:17 I just told you while you're still looking that up, we

57:19 already, I already figured it out.

57:20 It was a Bengal. That was the cat I was thinking

57:23 of, but it's not a Bengal. So I don't even know why I

57:25 brought that up. It was an ASA cat and he wanted

57:29 we wanted to start traveling a little bit more hiking and stuff

57:33 because it was COVID. So that's why we went to

57:34 Gatlinburg. Well, he wanted to bring the cat

57:37 like everywhere we went, just everywhere like he wanted he

57:40 wanted to be that Instagram guy with a cat at the front of it

57:45 with his Kitty in the front of his kayak and stuff like that.

57:48 Do those things. So it looked similar to that,

57:50 but it wasn't the wild that that's the wild Bengal.

57:53 Look up ASA cat was how do you spell OCI cat?

57:57 Oh, I would've spelled that so wrong.

57:59 They're supposed to be like a domestic ocelot.

58:02 And he wanted to bring that cat everywhere, Everywhere went.

58:05 Yes, it was exactly that. So he wanted to bring that cat

58:08 everywhere we went. And.

58:10 How? What do you how?

58:11 What you can't exactly I mean. You want to bring it everywhere

58:14 because it walked on. It walked on the leash, kind of.

58:16 It's not like a dog though. I was about to say, because cats

58:19 don't like leashes. They walk you, you don't walk

58:21 them. Not even.

58:23 It was a great for being outside cat and it did walk around on a

58:27 leash and it was really cool having that cat.

58:29 But the problem is. That he was paying more

58:32 attention to it than you. No, the drive there and back.

58:37 That's why I drove the wedge between.

58:38 Anywhere. Was the drive.

58:41 You have no idea how much work that cat was in a car.

58:44 It would puke, it would poop, it would scream the entire time.

58:50 And we all know that howl that cats get when they're in the

58:53 car. Is it like, is it like they're

58:56 howl when they're in heat that? Sounds horrible.

58:58 Oh my God, it was horrible at the top of his lungs all the

59:01 time. And I just, I finally, just

59:04 after about the third or fourth trip, miserable trip somewhere

59:09 and cleaning out poop and puke all over the back seat of the

59:12 car. I'm like, I can't, I can't, I

59:14 can't do this anymore. This is this is a lot more work

59:16 than I thought it was going to be.

59:17 I mean, this is not like traveling with a dog.

59:20 I think cats just are not that. It's not designed for this.

59:23 I mean, I don't think that's in general are really designed for.

59:25 Traveling, no Mustevi actually surprisingly does really good.

59:28 He does really good in a car. He might meow for like 10

59:30 minutes and then he'll just stop and he'll be good.

59:33 So I did get lucky with that with this little guy, but no,

59:35 not this cat. This cat was horrible and and he

59:37 my husband, my ex-husband refused to to not go anywhere

59:42 without that cat. He wanted to take that cat

59:43 everywhere. And that's what drove the wedge.

59:45 Kind of, yeah, kind of, yeah. There was already underlying

59:48 problems of course too. Just I can get into.

59:50 But it just magnified it. Yeah, because it was like that

59:53 one cherry on top, like right at the end when you're already just

59:57 gritting your teeth at everything.

1:00:00 And that was where we, and I'll talk more about that.

1:00:03 It's nicely too. But yeah, though, that was my.

1:00:06 That was my two choose and a lie.

1:00:07 Two choose and a lie. Well then I guess.

1:00:09 I guess that was our episode then because we're already at

1:00:11 like an hour. Yes, there's so much fun.

1:00:14 Woo your fave. Hopefully they hear it.

1:00:18 Favorite non practicing Mormon and Baptist boy coming to you

1:00:22 from the buckle of the Bible belt, Nashville.

1:00:27 OK, are we done? Thanks for watching 2 choose and

1:00:29 a lie watch you twangs and a lie watching get our show ready

1:00:32 keep. Doing that, thank you for

1:00:34 listening to our shortcut.